Things I Would Have Asked During My White House Visit

Barack Obama met with President George W. Bush this week during his first visit to the White House as president-elect.

I can only imagine what an overwhelming, yet electric experience that would be for anyone in such a position. Such a historical event, in such a historical place.

No matter who the person, you have to respect the president, whether outgoing or incoming, the authority and trust they represent, and their role as our commander in chief. And to meet with the president, whether you're a common citizen or the president-elect, is an both an honor and a privilege. You have to be in awe of the White House itself too. It represents our 232 year history (Ok, it's a few years shy of that, itself), has countless stories to be told (and many secrets that we will never know about) and is the residence and office for the most powerful person in the world.

I've never met a president before. I met many presidential candidates and even met George W. Bush once during his 2000 campaign. I got him to autograph an issues publication of his.

That being said, if I were Barack Obama (or any president-elect meeting a sitting president in the White House the first time after the election), there are a still a few questions I would have to ask that probably are not on the typcial list of things to ask:

• Do we really have an alien ship stashed at Area 51?
• Will they let you hook a Playstation or a Wii up to the projection system in the White House theater?
• Have you ever wanted to go off script with a knock-knock joke?
• They do carry chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in the kitchen, right?
• So this button right here, bad.. OK, and this one is for room service?
• Where are all the secret passageways?
• Think they would mind if I played paintball in Rose Garden?
• It's pretty fun to slide down the banister of the main staircase, isn't it?
• Those headphones they give you to listen to at international meetings -- you can plug those up to an Ipod, right?
• Can I issue an Executive Order that all of Congress participate in Dress Up As Your Favorite Star Wars Character Day?
• Have they ever let you go out into the woods with the presidential station wagon in the dead of winter to select and chop down the First Family's Christmas tree?
• Who do I need to to give a 6-month vacation to in order to be able to fly Air Force One for a few minutes?
• What's the best game you've ever bowled in White House bowling alley?
• There's a massager and heating unit built into the big chair in the Oval Office, right?
• Would you really call it an Oval, or more of a Circle or Ellipse?
• Will they let Air Force One buzz the tower at Andrews, or do they always say that the pattern is full?
• Which one of the foreign presidents/national leaders is the most fun to trade humorous email forwards with?
• Think they'll let me take Bill Clinton's picture down and replace it with a big orange Clemson Tiger Paw?

and --- drum roll, please.........................

• Hey, all these flashy screens and buttons in the Situation Room are really cool and make it look like something out of a sci-fi movie - don't you ever want to stroll in dressed as Darth Vader?