Cricket Watch - Day 3

He's followed me to work. It may be one of his friends. Regardless there's now one in the bushes behind my office that is just as loud. 

Why do crickets have to be so annoying?

I think the one that was keeping me up at night moved into our garage yesterday. I was washing dishes last night and heard one just chirping away in there. Better in there than outside my bedroom window.

Thankfully, I have not been woken up by a cricket in two nights now. I don't know if the one that had been keeping me up has moved on or decided to be nice and be quiet. 

Either way, I think cricket watch is over. Now on to more important things....

Cricket Watch

I seem to have gotten in a pattern of posting something to my blog about every three months or so. Excuses aside, I'm just going to jump right back in and hope that I don't go another three months without a post. (Honestly, I don't think I will -- in fact I know I won't, given the fact I have a major topic that is going to take a LONG time to write about of a LONG series of posts - the topic I promise is not about crickets)

Anyway, "Cricket watch?" you ask?

There's this cricket that has been my nemesis for about a week now. He lives outside the window closest to me in the bedroom and starts chirping about 11pm each night.

He's annoying.

He'll start up randomly throughout the night -- and just as randomly will stop. He always seems to know when I'm trying to figure out where he is.

He knows exactly what he's doing.

He's waking me up - at 1:30 am, 3 am, 5 am. At times when I really don't want to be woken up.

I'm one of these people that really enjoys my sleep. I've been knowing to turn sleeping into an art form. I slept through Hurricane Hugo. There's not much that can wake me up.

Except this stupid little cricket.

The first couple nights, I really thought he was in the room he was so loud. I checked one corner where I thought the sound was coming from. Then it would stop for a moment -- and start back up from what sounded like the other corner of the wall with the window. Chirp, search, repeat.

I eventually realized he was living right outside the window. He is just one really loud little bugger.

Last night during a lull in the rain we had had most of the evening, he started chirping again around 11:30. So I went outside and unloaded the household Ortho pump spray I have all over the ground, foundation, wall and window. I was hoping he would get the message and leave.

No such luck.

About an hour later he started up again. And woke me up at least twice that I can recall throughout the night. Once I was up, he just continued to chirp for the rest of morning while my wife and I got ready for church.

My wife says she can't hear him. But for some reason I can't tune him out.

So tonight, right around 11:30, he was at it again.

But I had an extra special present for him tonight. I bought one of those bottles of exterior pest Ortho that attaches to the hose and proceeded to saturate the ground outside the bedroom, the entire exterior wall, the bushes, the eaves, and the window frames with it.

It's 1:15 am right now. He's been quiet so far tonight since I sprayed his hangout down. That's a good sign that maybe he got the message and has decided to hop down the road permanently and annoy someone else.

In the meantime, I'm strategizing my next step in case he is just hiding or playing dead. If Cricket Watch goes into a third night, I am going to be really perturbed.

Either way, game on pal.

I'm Not Happy, And I'm Drawing A Line in the Sand

Upon pulling up to the gas pump this evening to our vendor of choice I noticed the dreaded sticker.

"This product may contain up to 10% ethanol" ... or something along those lines.

If there was anybody nearby, they probably didn't hear anything rosy come out of my mouth. I didn't notice. I was too mad.

Ingles has gone Ethanol.

They are now off my list of approved gasoline retailers.

And they will be getting a nice letter in the mail from me this week explaining my disgust in their decision - outlining why I believe they have succumbed to corporate peer pressure, perpetuated by big-oil and the almighty dollar and calling them out on their lack of concern for their customer.

The question I really have to ask is "Why do companies feel the need to take advantage of consumer ignorance in order to make money?"

That's what this is about.

Ethanol-blend costs less for the refineries, the oil companies, and therefore the resellers, i.e. in this case Ingles. Therefore said retailer, i.e. in this case Ingles, is able to sell it at a lower price than regular gasoline.

Customers flock to the place with the lowest price gas. The retailers get an influx of money coming in from those customers who want to save money.

And then they will end up taking that money they saved and spending it on even more gas to fuel their vehicle because their gas mileage sucks because they're running ethanol blend fuel. Their engine and fuel system pays the price in wear and tear also.

Most consumer don't know this. They're ignorant of the fact because that's not something the oil companies or gasoline vendors want people to know, and the media tend to not report on because those same companies spend advertising dollars with that media.

But if I have to go out of my way and be inconvenienced by the distance to the three regular gas vendors in my area, I will.

Ingles, you will no longer receive my money for gasoline. You may have lower prices on food. Hey, that's good. I'll buy your food. But I will not buy your gasoline.

Not until you switch back to tried and true regular, non-ethanol, gasoline.

You had me at regular unleaded. Now you lost me at ethanol. You suck.

I've ranted about the whole ethanol-blend vs. regular unleaded issue before. Read this

It's not like it really got me anywhere. Or will get me anywhere. That's one reason I'm so mad.

I guess if I have to go out of my way to avoid giving you money for your lousy product, I will. That's another reason why I'm really ticked off.

But I will go the extra physical miles down the road and give that same money to your competitor.

So, Ingles, here's my line in the sand (or red clay, as you find in this neck of the woods) - which I refuse to cross. You're going to have to cross it on your own by mending your ways and dumping your corn-blend gas.

As you can tell, I am not a happy camper right now.

You Have Got to Be Kidding Me....

And as we're buying our Halloween candy last night for the -maybe- five or six trick or treater's that we will have, I see the above scene.

This is wrong and tacky on so many levels, I don't even know what to say, other than "Come on, Target; are you kidding me?"

Are you as disgusted by this as I was?

Where Did We Go Wrong?

George Bush is bad - he has screwed everything up. It's all George Bush's fault.

Wah, wah.

I am so tired of hearing that.

What has happened in the last few years? Housing foreclosures have gone up, home values have declined, oil prices have skyrocketed, China's economy has taken off while ours has gone into the toilet, we're set to retire our shuttle fleet and leave our astronauts at the mercy of a nation that is trending back towards communism... the list goes on.

Where did we go wrong?

Who's to blame? You may say Bush, I say Congress. Politics 101 - Congress is who puts legislation in place. The power is really in their hands to fix what we've allowed to get broken. Who has been the majority party in Congress for the last two years? The Democrats.

Who else is to blame? Now let's look at the chief executive.

You may say Bush is to blame. Ok. So he's not real smart and he can't pronounce "nuclear," but he had the largest terrorist attack on the United States to deal with along with political and economic fallout that resulted directly from those attacks. His record of intelligent decisions may not be stellar, and some blame can be put on him, his cabinet, and his advisors. But look what he's had to deal with.

I say a large part of the blame is on Clinton. He should have surgically taken care of Osama bin Laden and the Taliban when he had the chance, but he chose not to. Then we wouldn't (hopefully) have had a major terrorist attack on our country, have to deal with being in a multiple-front war right now, and be spending the billions upon billions of dollars to fight that war.

Then we can look at it from a "trickle-back" standpoint, and lay some blame on the Democratic congress under George H. Bush, go back and put some blame on Reagan, Carter, Ford, Nixon ... and while we're at it, let's put some of the blame on all of us for taking the daring and brave move in creating Isreal following World War II. Most of the middle east has had us in their crosshairs since then.

(Okay, so going back and changing or stopping any of the things that have even in the smallest way contributed to the current state of our economy and our reputation around the world opens up the whole issue of screwing up the space-time continuum and creating innumerable paradoxes)

Fast forward back to 2008 - and we've got McCain blaming Obama and the Democrats. And Obama blaming McCain and the Republicans.

We should just go ahead and portion out the blame so everyone in Congress has some laid on them. And we can continue the blame game all we want. Really, though, it's time for all of these clowns in Washington to stop being politicians and start acting like leaders.

Lead us into a safe and prosperous future. Don't just take a backseat with the nation on autopilot.

After watching the presidential debate the other night, I came to the conclusion that this election for me is really about who is the lesser of two evils and who has less potential to screw this country up even further.

I really don't know. I would like to think McCain. But here he goes off on a $300 billion mortgage buyout. This after a $700 billion bailout, recovery package, whatever you want to call it. Granted, he says, oh yeah most of the money to do the mortgage buyout is already in the recovery package.

You know what, we will all still end up picking up the tab for these predatory lenders, for greedy Wall Street executives, for corporations with no real care in the world for the Average Joe Sixpack (thanks Sarah for the catch-phrase). We are all going to be footing the bill for this for a long time.

And it's time we put an end to coprorate greed, its lobbyists, and the pork they receive. Again, as with everything in the political world, easier said than done.

Both McCain and Obama can say "tax-breaks" all they want, but the sad reality is that with our economy on the track it is and our ability to cover this bailout, get our nation out of debt, and put additional corrective measures into place to fix our economy, it's going to take money out of all of our pockets and I would venture to guess we'll not see any tax breaks, and instead have tax increases under either candidate.

I really have a half-mind to write Fred Thompson in on the ballot because both Obama and McCain grate my last nerves.

I'm sick of this election. And I can believe I'm saying this, but I'm sick of arguing with people over why I am more inclined to vote for McCain over Obama.

Most of it is philosphical and goes back to smart and limited government, and core Republican beliefs of family values and a strong national defense.

Call me a reluctant Republican this go round all you want. I really am.

I'm just ready to get this over with, deal with what we have to deal with for the next four years, hope whomever is elected doesn't screw things up even worse, and hope for better choices in 2012.

Three Guys, Two Girls, and A Car Battery

No it's nothing sick and twisted. Just kind of sad and humorous.

I'll start it off with a joke: What do a public relations director, an automotive technician, and an aircraft technician have in common? You might at first say, "well, that's a weird combination."

Throw in an automotive battery and a 33rd birthday and you've got an average Wednesday night in Greer, South Carolina.

Yesterday happened to be my wife's birthday. The day had gone pretty good. We were having dinner at church (birthday dinner at church?, you might ask.... well, the celebratory dinner is this weekend. we do church activities on Wednesday as a routine) and my wife said, "It's been a really good birthday."

That thought didn't really last much longer. After our programs, we walked to opposite ends of the street and got in our respective cars that we had driven from our respective workplaces -- and then I get a call from her.

"My car won't start," she says.

Great. So I went to her car and tried to start it. No dice. Went inside and pulled a friend of ours who is an automotive technician off the Praise Team drum kit and asked for his help.

We tried to jump the car. With two different sets of jumper cables. No dice.

Great. So my wife and I take my car to the AutoZone down the street and I run in to get a battery. They have two people working the store, a line eight people deep, and are getting phone calls every two to three minutes. Everyone seems to want parts looked up in the computer, so it took forever just to make it to the counter.

"Battery, 03 Honda Accord, 4 cylinder, 2400," I rattle off. Guess what? --- they have ONE in stock. Fine, I'll take it. What's the damage? $90 plus tax.... WHAT? "Well sir, it's a three year battery and its our Gold level...."

"I've got your *grumble grumble* Gold level...."

And I walk out the door with the most expensive battery I've ever purchased.

Get back to the church. Fumble around BOTH cars for a wrench or socket that will fit the stupid terminals on the old battery, and all I could find was a pair of pliers.

After some creative ways of trying to get a pair of pliers to turn some very tight terminal screws, I threw the pliers on the ground.

"Honey, we gotta go to the house and get my tool set," I say. She refuses to leave the car. "It's parked at a church. Nobody's going to do anything to it." She refuses to leave the car and stays in it at the church.

So I went 15 minutes home, got my tool set, and went back. By the time I got back, everyone remaining at the church was on their way out. Our friend the automotive technician and his wife, along with another friend, an aircraft technician, are all outside talking to my wife.

I break out the tool set, and all three of us guys proceed to fumble through it by the light of a cell phone flash (the remain on until you press the button again flash is a great feature on my phone) for the right sized socket. We each take turns finding one and trying it and don't have any success.

At which point the girls decide to take another car and shine its lights at my wife's car for some added light.

I'm still not sure what size socket the freaking terminals take -- all I know is that the aircraft mechanic took an adjustable wrench, and with some brute force, finally got them to turn, all with the tips of the wrench gripping the very top of the terminal screws.

Then some more fumbling with the phone goes on on in trying to get light down the side of the battery, as I'm trying to fasten the battery restraint back on. Finally, everything went into place.

From start to finish, the whole ordeal took and hour and a half. I took the old battery and put it in the trunk. When I walked back to the front of the car, the aircraft technician is sitting on the ground organizing my tool kit which had been a mess when I opened it up.

And we followed that up with a 9:45 pm trip to Denny's.

Needless to say, now I've got an organized tool kit, a double cheeseburger in my system, an old battery to take in and get $5 for, a mess of jumper cables in my car trunk -- and my wife got a $90 battery for her birthday.

Not exactly the gift she had in mind.

The Land Where Manners Stand Still

So the wife and I are sitting in a CVS, waiting on a prescription a few evenings ago. Some guy is walking to the back of the store and I hear him talking. As he rounds the corner at the end of the aisle and starts coming towards us, I notice he's got a Bluetooth device in his ear.

You know, one of those little "Hey look at me, I think I look cool but I really look like a geek from Star Trek" devices.....

He's not keeping his conversation very private. He was talking to someone named Lee, who at first I thought was a woman.

At first, the conversation went something like ".... I think we need to talk more about this .... Lee, this is a tough decision for me... there are some issues that I don't think are getting resolved..."

Oh man, dude is breaking up with his girlfriend in a CVS over a Bluetooth. How lame.

Then we hear "Lee, I think you're a great father.... Your son has some serious issues .... He needs help ... I want to be there to support you, but I don't think I can anymore ... Your son needs to talk to someone."

While all of this is being said, he's making a purchase at the prescription counter and conversing with the cashier also. I was just baffled at the complete lack of respect he was showing for the person he was talking to over the phone AND for the cashier by having this conversation out in the open, at a pharmacy counter nonetheless.

I don't get people like that.

I don't get why people think other people need to hear their what should be private conversations.

Why do people think the world needs to hear them yak on their cell phone all the time?

I think the cell phone is helping lead us down a path from which there is looking to be less and less of a return -- to The Land Where Manners Stand Still.

If I have something that I don't want other people to hear, I won't talk on my cell phone in public. I try to avoid talking on my cell phone in public in the first place. I'm really not a big phone person anyway. There are a lot of times when I'm with a group of friends or in a situation where I think it is really inappropriate to be taking phone calls -- and I'll just press the ignore button on the phone and let it go to voice mail.

If it is someone important, I will call them back when it is a more convenient time.

I see a ton of people that are totally the opposite of this. I know several people who I think have Cellphone Attachment Disorder, where they can't live unless they're on their phone talking to someone. It doesn't matter where they are, when they are, or who they're with, they always have to be on the phone. That I truly don't understand and think is completely rude.

Then there are the people who think they, themselves, are just the end all be all. This gets back to the "Gimme" attitude.

"Gimme a hamburger and fries. Oh, and gimme a coke too" ---- or "gimme that pen. I need to write you a check"

Well, gimme ain't never got me nothin'....

Whatever happened to "May I please have.." or "Would you mind if I borrow your ...." ?

I went through my adventures in paying car taxes and getting a new license plate today. All in all, not a bad experience. Didn't take as long as I expected. As always, there were a fair share of totally ignorant people at the tax office and at the DMV who have no clue how the process of paying taxes or getting a vehicle registered go. I'm amazed that some of these people know how to get out of bed and put their clothes on in the morning.

But there was this one lady whose number was a few before mine and made it up to the counter several minutes ahead of me whose conversation I happened to hear vividly.

She goes up to the counter, baby in a diaper and t-shirt in tow (being carried notheless) -- and slaps both her paperwork down on the counter and the baby.

"Gimme one of the new license plates - I just paid my money to the county taxman," she says rudley as her baby leans over and starts playing with this and that on the counter which all belong to the DMV rep.

I thinking, "Lady, I would love to give you a one-way ticket back to Kindergarten so you can learn some manners."

Why do people think they can just go from day to day thinking that they're so entitled to this or that and get away with telling people to give them this or that, rather than politely asking for something?

I am big on manners in public. I admit there are times when I'm irritated or frustrated or just in a bad mood and I get a little short with people. I always feel bad about that afterwards. Unless they just had it coming to them for whatever reason they were being difficult in the first place....

But so many people are setting bad examples of how to act in public. So many people are raising rude children (If I ever find my future son or daughter on a bluetooth phone in public telling someone to give them something... well let's just say that's not going to happen in the first place)

And society in general isn't doing anything to address rudness in general. Mostly, anyway.

I was in the post office recently, waiting in line, and this woman goes up to the counter yakking away on her cell phone,. Before she's able to say anything to the worker behind the counter, said worker says, "Ma'm, we have a policy that we will not help customers who are on their cell phone. I guess you may have missed the sign right there (and she points to one) --- So if you would please step to the side and finish your phone conversation, we'll let you get back in line when you're done."

I came about half an inch from clapping. Instead I just grinned.

"Well that's just rude," the woman on the cell phone said as she walked away from the counter to continue her conversation.

Lady, do you want to be the pot or the kettle today?

What has happened? --- are the cell phone makers to blame? Is Ray Kroc to blame for allowing fast food service to serve as a catlyst for rudeness? We're going downhill in a way which it's getting more and more apparent that we're going to have to have a miracle to come back from.

No, I Don't Want Corn In My Gas Tank

My wife and I were returning from Charlotte to visit my folks a few nights ago and about 30 miles from home noticed we had dropped down below a quarter of a tank of gas. I don't like to run the cars that low, so I took the next exit.

$3.77. Looks good to me. Pulled in and drove to the pump - but before I got out I noticed the sticker. Contains up to 15% ethanol. So we went on to the station next door. Contains up to 10% ethanol. Next station please. Contains up to 15% ethanol.

I'm not going to the Citgo next door. Citgo is owned by the national oil company of Venezuela. I am not about to put any of my money in Hugo Chavez's hands. He's one of the silent partners in the Axis of Evil.

Went down to the next exit -- and, ironically at a restaurant that I used to frequent while working at a job site during a summer job between my Freshman and Sophomore years of college, found a gas station that was selling non-ethanol blend gas. For the same exact price as the first station I had gone to.

I made the decision awhile ago to not put ethanol in my gas tank - in either car.

This is getting more and more difficult to do as more and more gas stations around here are starting to sell ethanol-blend gas. One of the biggest offenders is Stewart Spinks, also a silent partner in the AoE.

A good friend of ours is a service tech at the local Saturn dealership. He's told me some interesting stories about problems that more and more of their customers are running into after putting ethanol-blend gas in their tanks. We haven't had to have any major vehicle repairs in several years now. And I don't want to start by screwing up my fuel system.

If you look around on the Internet, you can find all kinds of interesting discussions about this.

The ethanol industry doesn't seem to want to acknowledge that there are valid concerns the vehicle owners have and are running into because of their own ignorance about ethanol.

• The Problem With Ethanol - Tampa Bay Online

Some facts about ethanol (you can decide for yourself whether each is a pro or con):

• Ethanol burns cleaner and reduces the amount of toxic emissions.
• Ethanol production is providing an economic boom for corn-farmers in the midwest
  
• Per gallon, ethanol produces 34 percent less energy than a gallon of gasoline and thus reduces your mileage. So you may not necessarily be getting more bang for you buck by purchasing ethanol-blend gas.
• To distill ethanol takes a 3:1 ratio of water to ethanol. It is very water intensive. A lot of states are facing severe drought and need to conserve the water that they currently have.
  
• Ethanol attracts water. When it mixes with water, ethanol separates from the gas and settles to the bottom of the tank with the water.
• Ethanol is corrosive. It eats through fiberglass. This is one reason boaters are having increasing problems with ethanol-blend fuel. There is currently a class-action suit in California against nine major oil companies (Ethanol-Blended Fuel Blamed for Boaters' Problems - ConsumerAffairs.com) because of this.
• Some manufacturers will void your vehicle's warranty if ethanol blends higher than 10 percent are used in its fuel system.
  
• In older model cars, ethanol will eat through rubber components in the fuel system and can loosen fuel tanks.
• More pros and cons..... and more
  

Flex-fuel vehicles are designed to run on up to 85 percent ethanol-15 percent gas and don't have a problem taking the E-10(10 percent mix) or E15(15 percent mix) that the stations I was trying to get gas at on our trip home sell. But flex fuel vehicles are relatively new and not all vehicle models are available as flex-fuel. FFVs really didn't take off until 2003 and after. And neither of our vehicles are FFVs.

• Check here to see if you have a flex fuel vehicle

My two favorite gas stations, Ingles Supermarket (based in Black Mountain, NC) and Murphy Gas (owned by Wal-Mart), do not sell ethanol-blend fuel. This is why unless I am not near one at the time I need to gas my car, I always go to one of the two. And they consistently have the lowest gas prices in this area.

So as long as I have a car with an engine that burns gasoline (whether a fully gasoline engine or a hybrid), I am going to frequent the gas stations without ethanol-based gas. I just wish that they would advertise in big-bold letters on their primary roadside price signs whether their fuel is ethanol-blend so I don't have to waste my time pulling up to the pump to find out.

I'm kind of torn on the The Open Fuel Standard Act proposed this week by Sam Brownback (R-KS), Ken Salazar (D-CO) and Joseph Lieberman (I-CT). It would require that, starting in 2012, 50 percent of all new vehicles be flex fuel and able to burn gasoline, ethanol and methanol, or biodiesel. By 2015, that requirement would go up to 80 percent. Yes, it does help get us away from our dependency on oil, whether foreign or domestic. But that still doesn't address the main issue we're facing by having non-renewable fuel sources still on the market as an option to make our cars move down the road.

Honestly though I think we need to direct our primary efforts toward hydrogen and/or 100 percent elctric vehicles. I think ethanol is basically the go-between from where we are right now to where we could and should be in the near future. And it pisses me off -- not only that I can't go to the pump and find the type of gas that I want every time, but that the companies selling this crap are snowing people with it.

I could go on and on about what's wrong with the energy policies in this country and what we could and should do to make things better for the environment and our own pocketbooks, but that's a post for another time. I could go on and on about blaming this person or that person, or the people who insist on driving gas-sucking SUVs and minivans (are these really necessary? -- is the status quo in the PTA just that important to you? This gets back to analogy of your friends jumping off a bridge...) For the record, I will never purchase an SUV or a minivan.

And I could go on and on about our government's lack of initiative in adequately addressing the issues. It's taken $4 a gallon gas for people to jump up and take notice.

To his credit, and although probably motivated by his own selfishness, oilman George W. Bush lifted the federal moratorium on offshore drilling last week that his dad put in place. Now we just have to wait and see if our liberally-lopsided Congress will allow drilling on the outer continental shelf. Not that that is really going to solve anything at this moment in time, but within the next decade it should provide us some valuable benefits. I don't think any Congress is going to open up the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, and I think that's a good thing. But with Bush's last minute drive to actually do something about our dependency on foreign oil, I think that's a step in the right direction. He may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I think this may help redeem his image.

McCain and Obama are at least putting in some effort required so that they can advertise that they each have an energy plan. I think McCain's Lexington Project is better and more realistic, but he's still an idiot. And I'm going to vote for the guy because I do not want a democrat in office along with a democratic congress. That would be really, really bad.

My father and I tend to diverge (not drastically, but enough to provide for some interesting discussions) on a lot of political issues. But we're pretty much both on the same page on our opinion of T. Boone Pickens' plan for foreign oil and U.S. energy consumption and policies. So if you're up for a good read, check out FoxNews' article today on Pickens' plan or my dad's series on energy policies over at his blog.

I'll probably follow up with more on this later.

The Newest Fairground Game: Whack-a-Parent

My wife and I went to watch a friend's daughter in her elementary school's choral production tonight. It was, well, an elementary school production. The songs were corny, the kids did some things to make us laugh, and the dancing was just as hokey. It was an elementary school production, so it was what it was. But she had a fun time and looked cute in her '50s era poodle skirt, so that's what counts.

We don't have kids of our own yet. But we have lots of friends that do and have a church full of children also. We have one neice on my side, and two nephews and a neice on my wife's. So we're around kids alot.

I observed something this evening that I had observed alot at several other places, church in particular (you'll notice in the upcoming paragraphs many references back to this).

They had a professional videographer set up to shoot the production tonight. We have a camera set up in our sound booth at church to shoot our early worship service. Neither were/are elevated real high so the potential to get a lot of heads or backsides is pretty high.

The parents in attendance were made aware of the camera and asked not to block it by getting up and down or walking back and forth in front of it. Our early-service goers are well aware of where our camera is placed at church and of the fact that we record the service each week, yet continue to stand in its path or walk back and forth in front of it.

(When you watch the DVD of our early service, the sermon is often given by someone's bald head)

This fact in mind (camera in back of church during service and camera in back of cafeteria for choral production), the parents in both places decide not to care. They get up at random times during the service/choral production to stand up, walk around, and block the view of the video camera or other people.

It's like watching a whack-a-mole game come alive. I'd love to have a big 20-foot rubber mallet to whack people back down into the seats in either case.

I know they're thinking "I'm not going to settle for sitting in my seat and dealing with the fact that I didn't get here early enough to sit in the first two or three rows or bring my own tripod to set up in the back of the room also, so I'm going to stand up, make an inconsiderate ass of myself, and block people's view so they can't see their own children."

This irritates me.

I was asked to shoot the kids' Christmas skit at church the Christmas-before-last. So I took the church camera off the tripod at the back of the room and decided to carry it up to the front to get some nice close-ups of the production. I thought this wouldn't be too difficult and would be a little more intimate for the people watching the end-product video/DVD.

Yet, I was battling parent after parent walking in front of me thinking they're the shit because they have a 2.5 megapixel digital camera and are getting in my way.

"Hello, I know you see me crouching down here with the real nice, real expensive church video camera trying to some real nice footage of your kid. So get out of my way."

I have a really big issue with people who are just rude and don't show any respect to people around them. I understand that taking pictures or video of your kid is a big deal. I'll probably feel the same way when my wife and I have kids.

But when you're in a location where you're going to get in people's way and disturb their own enjoyment of their own child's participation in whatever is going on, at least have the common courtesy to stay in your own freaking seat --- or spend a few extra bucks, get a tripod, and stand in the back of the room with all the other more intelligent parents who brought their own tripods.

Or better yet -- just leave it up to the professionals, sit back in your chair, relax, and don't worry about it.

Wal-Mart Sucks

I really despise going to Wal-Mart. About the only time I ever go into one is late, late at night when everything else is closed.

About an hour ago I found myself in a Wal-Mart about 8 minutes from our place. It was late, the store is nearby, and I figured I could save a few bucks by going there.

Yeah, I did save a few bucks. But was it was really worth it? Not really.

This particular Wal-Mart is generally pretty nasty. Not only with dirty floors, but items from one end of the store are frequently found left on shelves at the total opposite end.
Who knew that antifreeze, feminine pads, and nachos all belonged on the same shelf together?

Adding to the nastiness of the store is the nastiness of the people. It amazes me how disgusting the average Wal-Mart shopper looks. Most seem to have no care or concern for their own appearance.

I just happened to hit the store at restock time.

So as I'm standing in the deoderant aisle, there is a flurry of stock people moving up and down the aisle (at one point literally six in the same aisle I was standing) and I'm trying to talk to my wife on my cell phone as all these idiots are yelling things back and forth to each other.

OK, well I'll come back to that aisle in a few minutes.

Went to the music and electronics section. I'm a Best Buy or Circuit City fan. I could literally spend all day in either of those stores. But Wal-Mart's excuse for a music and electronics section will do in a pinch.

I'm perusing CDs and find about six from which I want to listen to a couple tracks. CDs in hand, I'm looking for the CD thingamajig with the headphones. Can't find one, so I ask the nearest stockboy and he says they got rid of them. That really irritated me.

Went back to the deoderant aisle, found the closest thing to what my wife was having me look for, and grabbed a few other miscellaneous things from neighboring aisles. They also didn't have the ACT mouthwash I was looking for. So then I made my way to go check out.

Here comes the biggest irritation of the night --- with 22 checkout lanes in the store, only lane 12 was open. One lane. And two of the women out of the six people ahead of me have carts full of who knows what.

It took 15 minutes from the time I got in line until they opened up 2 additional lanes. Probably because at that point the line was backed up to lane 4.

We all bolted. It was like hundreds of mice all running for a small piece of cheese.

I'm happy to say I beat most of the other mice to the cheese. Except for the guy in front of me who couldn't speak English and kept looking at the cashier like she was nuts when she started asking him questions while she took her sweet-ass time scanning his 100 shirts made in Chinese sweatshops.

By the time I got out of the there, I felt like I was about to go insane. All the more reason for me to try to get out to the store before 9 pm when Target closes. At least their stores are clean, most of their items are in stock, and the shoppers are generally a little more plesant. Plus they have a Starbucks.

And at the end of the day, it will always hold true that Wal-Mart sucks.

The Other Side Of The Coin

One of my co-workers is no longer one of my co-workers.

Just in case some random media person stumbles across this blog, I'm not going to go into any specific details about one of my co-workers no longer being a co-worker.

Today was my first experience being on the other side of the coin -- by that I mean from when I used to be the reporter asking the public relations/information representative why a particular person is no longer working at a particular place.

I used to hate getting the standard "I cannot discuss personnel matters" line. It drove me nuts -because you know there's more to it.

Then there's the 'knowing more to it' side. Despite the fact that I hated saying it because I did hate hearing it so much, I had to use the "I cannot discuss personnel matters" line today when talking to a reporter who called me to ask some questions about why one of my co-workers was no longer one of my co-workers.

From knowing at least some details about the situation involving this now-former co-worker, I now fully understand and empathize with my fellow public relations colleagues about why this line has become so standard and why it is the safest thing to say. You have to protect all the people involved, regardless of what side of the situation they are on, and who thinks what of whom or who allegedly did whatever, whenever. You have to protect the image of the institution. And you have to convey your message with personal and professional integrity.

So I apologize ahead of time to any of the reporters in the local newsrooms if I ever have to give you the standard "I cannot discuss personnel matters" line. But I'm on the other side of the coin now.

Just Paint Me Green And Give Me A Dog Named Max

I used to get so excited when I was little when all the Christmas stuff came out -- the commercials, the music, the toys...everything. Now, as a grown adult, I can't stand it.

Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas. It's my favorite holiday of the year. I love celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and the spirit of giving. I enjoy giving gifts to those I love.

I just hate everything that modern society has done to dumb this beautiful holiday down to a Christmas rap being sung by a battery operated stuffed penguin with shades on and grillz on his teeth.

It is supposed to be a joyous holiday. It's not supposed to enrage people with incessant holiday commercials that guilt you about the crap you can't afford to buy or Mariah Carey on the radio two weeks before Thanksgiving singing "All I Want for Christmas Is You."

My wife thinks I'm a grinch. I bitch about the commercialization of Christmas every year. I bitch about buying gifts (I love giving them, just not buying them) I bitch about alot of stuff related to Christmas that is all due to the degredation of modern society's morals and character.

So to kick off the Christmas season, I'm going to make a list -- no, it's not my list of presents I want for Christmas (although an actual house would be at the top of the list) --- it's a list of the Top 10 reasons why I hate the Christmas season.

10. Holiday parties at work -- I'm not a social butterfly anyway. I especially don't enjoy having to put on a smile when I've spent the last several weeks just being annoyed at all the Christmas craziness. I have better things to do in the evening than come smile at people who I spend all day looking at. There are a few parties I look forward to each year, only two of those happen during the Christmas season, and neither are work related.

9. Lame-ass Christmas bonuses (or lack thereof) - Last year I got a bag of candy and a travel mug. The year before, at my previous employer, I got a freaking Home Depot gift card. WTF? My first two employers post-college gave us some real money. I don't mean to be greedy, but if your employees are doing a good job, reward them with something they deserve and can use.

8. Christmas commercials - for many reasons: first, they come on the TV or radio in October. Please wait until after Turkey day. They guilt you about what you're planning to buy or not planning to buy for other people. They're generally pretty damn stupid. And they're annoying to boot.

7. Decorating -- the house, the tree, pretty much anything. Never been a fan. We always end up with a strand of lights that doesn't work and I have to track down the one freaking bulb in it that is burned out.

6. Christmas decorations going up early -- in stores, in downtowns, on people's cars (of all things, when did this start? I've seen three people this week with wreath decals on their rear window. WTF?) Please wait until after Turkey day

5. Wal-Mart -- I despise Wal-Mart anyway. They're nasty, they're just... at least they're not K-Mart... but I hate having to battle 500 people in the aisles just because I want to get cat litter at a cheap price. Even at 1 am, which is my usual Wal-Mart shopping time, the lines are still a mile long -- although that could be because they ONLY HAVE TWO FREAKING CASH REGISTERS OPEN.

4. Holiday traffic -- it's like everyone on the road was given a temporary pass to be stupid from Halloween to New Year's (not that most of them aren't already doing stupid things) And it's compounded by the increased volume of cars on the road that are being driven to the local shopping/strip malls.

3. Getting the Christmas decorations out -- this always turns into a nightmare of "where did we put this, where did we put that," and then a sea of boxes and packing tissue.

2. Christmas shopping - I hate shopping in general, no matter when or where. I especially can't stand it after Thanksgiving. There are too many people and they all act like they've gone mad. That's why I avoid stores at all costs during the Christmas season.

1. Christmas songs on the radio two weeks before Thanksgiving. .... Again, Turkey day, wait for it.

Stay tuned sometime in the next few weeks for the Top 10 things I enjoy the most about the Christmas season.

It's Not Clemzun!!

My wife and I have several issues with ESPN.

1. Their commentators seem to hate Clemson. No matter how good we're playing, they always have to nitpick the small negatives or talk smack about the players or the coaching. No matter who we're playing, they always have to talk up the other team or turn their negatives into positives. You rarely ever hear an ESPN commentator say anything positive about Clemson. They always have to rib us for this or that.

2. They won't shut up. Period. We just want to see the plays. We don't want their analysis about why THEY think Tommy Bowden is doing something. We don't want their dubmass comments like "That Clemson player looks like they're in pain." (If they're on the field holding their leg screaming, obviously they are) We don't want to hear them talk about some moron's opinion of shrimp and grits or where he's going to eat at the next football town he goes to. We just want to watch the game, hear the home announcer, and hear the referees' calls (whether we like them or not). I don't want to hear the EPSN commentators - period. So we often find that when we're watching the Clemson football game on TV, we've got the TV muted and we're listening to the game on the local radio.

3. CLEMSON IS NOT PRONOUNCED "CLEM-ZUN". Let't take a look at the structure of the word here, with a visual aid...

As you can see here, there is an understood "P" in the word Clemson. It is expected that the P be pronounced.

ESPN commentators are the worst offenders in the world about mispronouncing Clemson as Clemzun. It's like one of the nails on chalkboard type situations, where it just makes you cringe. Everytime I hear it, I want to throw my shoe at the TV.

A word to people who are unfamilair with Clemson -- If you do not pronounce the understood P, Clemson fans will think you are a moron. Everyone in South Carolina knows this. So for all you people out there who have never heard of Clemson, at least now you know to properly pronounce it. Okay, maybe it sounds a little redneck. Oh well. If you don't like it, you can kiss our collective orange butts.

When Pressing Zero Doesn't Work

I typically don't enjoy confrontation. As a matter of fact, I try to avoid it.

But calling customer service numbers really gets me riled up sometimes. Generally the hold times are enough to anger me. I spend 10, 20, 30 minutes waiting to talk to someone - and when I finally get to talk to someone, in the middle of the conversation they ask if they can put me on hold for no good reason.

NO YOU CANNOT PUT ME ON HOLD - I JUST SPENT 30 MINUTES WAITING TO TALK TO YOU. YOU ARE A MORON. DO YOU THINK I WANT TO WAIT LONGER?

"Sure, fine, go ahead" -- and so I wait for them to come back on the phone. Drumming my fingers on the desk.

So for today's story, I just had a really fun experience that took me nearly an hour to resolve.

This started with a notice I received in the mail a few days ago saying I had not submitted a UPC along with a rebate form for a cell phone I recently purchased. Which I had. I cut it off the box and included it with the rebate application, stapled to it at that, just like the instruactions said, and mailed it off. Then I get this notice.

So I call the phone number listed on the notice. Go through the automated menu -- several dozen times. No obvious way to talk to a rep -- it's all "Press 1 for a FAQ on this", "Press 2 for a FAQ on that." I press "0" repeatedly. With a lot of systems, doing this will put you in touch with an agent. Not this time. It instantly hangs up. So I call the headquarters of the rebate company.

"We're sorry. The only number we can give you is the one you already have," they say.

"A lot of good you are," I say, as I hang up. Then I call my cell phone provider. They give me the same blasted number. So I call it back. Go through every submenu, selecting every option. Finally I get an option to talk to a real person. By this time my blood is boiling and I'm about to go off on someone.

Luckily, this person was pretty understanding. They told me that there IS a record that I submitted a UPC. She didn't know why I was sent the notice that started this whole debacle in the first place, and she authorizes my rebate check. Problem solved.

Sort of.

In my eyes, the problem won't ever be totally solved until they either eliminate automated menus and your call goes directly to a customer service agent -- or they tell you up front on the main menu of their automated system that you can press "0" or whatever to talk to a real person.

What they have in place I wouldn't call customer service at all. Technology and computers are great and all, but sometimes I just wish we could have prevented automated menus from ever being invented. I generally get better customer service from the person behind the speaker at the McDonald's drive thru when they ask me if I want fries with my order.