Little Miss Magic

As much as my wife and I thought we knew what to expect of becoming parents, we’ve both been put in our place over the last two and half weeks.

You can prepare for a baby financially…. You can prepare for a baby with material things… You can prepare their nursery and their wardrobe…

But the one thing I can’t get over is how much I have fallen in love with this little girl

I see a little more of me everyday
I catch a little more moustache turning gray
Your mother is the only other woman for me
Little miss magic, what you gonna be?
- Jimmy Buffet, Little Miss Magic

Sometimes I do just sit and watch her. Hold her in my arms and just look into those beautiful eyes. Look down into her bassinet and spend a few minutes just amazed that my wife and I created such a precious, innocent life.

It’s amazing. It’s something that I don’t think any expectant parent can prepare for.

Sometimes I catch her dreamin and wonder where that little mind meanders
Is she strollin along the shore or cruisin oer the broad savannah
I know someday shell learn to make up her own rhymes
Someday she's gonna learn how to fly
Oh that I wont deny
- Little Miss Magic

I do wonder what she thinks of when she sleeps. A friend of mine posted on my Facebook page the other day, “if they smile or laugh while sleeping they are playing with loved ones who have gone on to Heaven, angels.”

That hit me hard. She has such a beautiful smile. And she laughs in her sleep a lot. It’s actually really cute to watch. But after I read that comment, now I can’t help think, “Who’s she playing with now?” Great-Grandma Maxine? Grandma Doris?  Pop-Pop?

I wish they could all be here to watch her grow up. It breaks my heart that she will only know of them through what we tell her. But that’s our job as parents. To show her we love to her. To tell her how important family is. To teach her to love. To teach her to become her own person. To teach her to be strong in her faith.

Faith can't be taught
It's just something that is caught along the way
No faith is never taught
It's just something that they catch from watching you along the way
-    Mark Schultz, She Was Watching

She’s already starting to form her own personality. Wait, what am I talking about? She was doing that in the womb.

There are a few things we knew ahead of time about our little girl… That she’s stubborn, a fighter, spirited, a clown, and determined.

I can tell that all those are true.

But each day I see new traits developing. I watch her watching us. I can tell she’s got a million thoughts going on in that little head.

She has a tender heart, but she means business when she’s mad. She is expressive, but manipulative too. I think babies have that down pat.

I hope as she grows up that her mother and I will be parents that she will admire, trust, and love. I hope I will be a good father and model strong values and faith to her. I hope she becomes an individual who others look to for love, guidance, and support.

I have two amazing parents, who I love with all my heart. There’s so many ways they have influenced my life and who I’ve become that I am so thankful for…… I hope I will be as influential in who my daughter becomes.

But for right now, I’m going to want her to stay a little girl, my own Little Miss Magic, who actually is amazed by the blades of the fan on the ceiling.

I love you, baby girl.

Jeremy

I hadn't been at work more than about 30 minutes or so when I learned about what happened to Jeremy and his brothers.

My phone rang. I didn't recognize the name on the caller id. It ended up being a guy who works on the SC Runners Web site, is an area cross-country runner, and is a journalist with one of the major dailies in the area.

Jeremy and his brothers Dan and Ryan had just been visiting some family in North Dakota and were returning to a summer mission program in which they were participating in at Yellowstone.

There had been a very serious accident. Dan and Jeremy were thrown from the car. Ryan had suffered minor injuries.

Jeremy was airlifted to the Bozeman hospital. That night an article ran in the Bozeman paper that there had been a traffic fatality in that wreck.

Obviously there was a bit of a misunderstanding as to Jeremy's condition. The authorities admitted to that.

Some tests were done which indicated that Jeremy didn't have any brain activity. He was put on life support.

His family talked to his high school cross country coach. His coach relayed news of Jeremy's accident to the person who called me on the phone those 30 minutes or so after I got into work.

He wanted us to know - and to let Jeremy's college cross country coach, Mike, know.

I sat back in my chair as I heard the news. I took a deep breath. I asked what had happened. I asked how Jeremy's family was doing. I told him to let Jeremy's family know that he, his brothers, and their entire family were in our prayers.

As I got off the phone, I took a minute to take everything in. I was still in shock. I said a prayer for Jeremy and his family.

Jeremy went through surgery the next day to relieve the swelling on his brain. They did another test which showed Jeremy did have brain activity. He's been on a respirator since. But there have been some positive signs.

He has responded to some voice commands. There have been some movements also. He has opened his eyes slightly.



I didn't know Jeremy very well when he was a student-athlete on our campus. He ran cross country and set numerous school records which still stand. I had talked with him a few times though.

The first time I ever met Jeremy was a brisk Saturday morning before our team was to run the annual Eye Opener race in Spartanburg. He and his teammates were all smiles. They were hyped up to run. I introduced myself, shot a few photos with him and his teammates, and then shot their races. Jeremy came in 6th in our division.

I interviewed him for a profile story in our alumni magazine a few weeks prior to his graduation.

Jeremy is the type of guy who always had a smile on his face. He's the type of guy who always had friends around him. He's determined. He's strong. He's a fighter. He's a role model. And he's a very strong Christian.

I learned a lot about him in the hour or so that one day when we talked. His coach, Mike, always talked highly of him. His teammates always did. He became a brother to his teammates as they all became brothers and sisters to him.




Getting back to the morning of that call.... so I'm sitting there at my desk after hanging up the phone. I look up our cross country coach's number and dialed what probably is the hardest phone call I've ever had to make.

I told him about Jeremy. I listened as he stumbled for words. He was in disbelief. I still was too. Then I sent out an email across campus to our faculty and staff telling them about Jeremy.

It's been six weeks now.

Jeremy has shown that he's a fighter. He's shown he's not yet done. God is keeping him here for a purpose. We may not know right now what, but God is watching over Jeremy.

I pray he recovers. Nobody knows for sure what will happen. Only God does.

It's been a shock for the tight knit family that I work with. It's been weeks of prayers. From friends, from family, from alumni, from students - from our entire community.



I never thought when I took this job that I would become friends with so many of these students. Part of me at first was like, 'That's really not my job to be friends with them. Sure I need to be cordial. But it's probably not a good thing to be friends with them.' The other part though, 'Well, if you want to be effective in your job you have to get to know the students to be able to tell the news media and the alumni what these students are doing and about the things going on on our campus.'

I never knew that I would know so many of them by first name. Become friends with some of them on Facebook. See them on campus and ask how their day is going - or what they think of Kim's SMC 101 class. That's what makes this job so fun.

But you really can't help but establish friendships with them -- and want them to succeed. When they do awesome things, you get excited for them. You're taking photos of an athletic game and all of a sudden you're yelling for them and cheering them on. They get injured in an accident late one night on campus and you say a prayer for them.

Then at the end of the year you say goodbye to one group, wish them the best of luck, and three months later welcome another group to campus. There are some that I've even stayed in touch with as they've gone on to places like Clemson, Southern Wesleyan, Winthrop, Florida Atlantic, College of Charleston, or even Syracuse.



Again, as I mentioned earlier, I don't know Jeremy very well, personally. But I know his character. And I know what kind of an impact he has had on our campus - with his friends, his teachers, our coaches, our staff -- with his extended family.

But for his real family -- there is no way I could possibly begin to talk about what they're going through let alone even imagine it. We hear through Jeremy's CaringBridge Web site how he and his family are doing. We hear from his friends. We hear from his former teammates.

And we continue to pray that he recovers.

Jeremy is in an acute care facility in Spartanburg now, as his family talks to a facility in Atlanta. His brother Dan hasn't totally recovered either. He has a long road ahead of him also. But he's been released from the hospital and is going through outpatient physical therapy in Bozeman.




Earlier this week, our director of student activities and leadership development, Kim, suggested, after talking with one of Jeremy's family members, that we do a run / walk fundraiser as part of our upcoming Family Day / Homecoming activities. So she and I and a few other folks from our staff met a couple days ago and got the ball rolling on that.

The Jeremy Vangsnes 5K Benefit Run will be held at the Spartanburg Methodist College campus on Oct. 3. The money raised from the event will go to a fund already set up to help assist his family with medical costs involved in their care of Jeremy and his brothers.

We're excited about this. We're excited to be able to help out part of our extended family - to help out Jeremy's family. We pray that he will recover. Only God knows what the ultimate outcome will be. But we're looking forward to contributing our little part to His plan.

We're hoping for a few hundred people to participate. It would be awesome if we could get many hundreds of people to participate.

In my time as a journalist, I covered various fundraisers, charity work, service work, etc. It's always great to be able to cover those kinds of stories. But to be on the other side and actually be part of the team that is there to bring about the result of the project is a totally different experience.

Sept. 12, 2001 was one of my proudest days professionally -- not for myself, but for the efforts of the entire team of coworkers that I worked with at WYFF. The station put on a telethon fundraiser to aid the Red Cross' relief efforts following the terrorist attacks of the day before. If I recall correctly, in 24 hours we raised over $300,000.

I know this event for Jeremy and his family is one that I and my coworkers are going to be tremendously proud of. But we're not in this for any reward. At the same time, if we can say that this event, that Jeremy's and his brothers' stories, that his dedication and/or his character will have brought someone closer to their family, to God, and/or to their purpose in life, then that will be a great thing.

At the same time, we'll be helping part of our extended family alleviate some of their financial burden and lifting them up in their time of need. And we'll continue to pray for them, for Jeremy, and for their entire family.

And if you're interested in participating in the Jeremy Vangsnes 5K Benefit Run, just let me know and I'll get you some more information on it.

Giving Thanks

On this day of Thanksgiving, my wife and I had the opportunity to see her sister's family - our neice and two nephews - and have lunch with them. Due to an unforseen turn of events due to a new home kitchen glitch, lunch was at Fatz. Then we spent a little bit of time with them at their house -- playing scrabble with the nephews and chasing the neice around the house.

Then on to my sister's house to spend the evening with her and her husband and our newborn neice Laken, along with my parents and several members of my brother in-law's family. I'm extremely thankful this year for such a blessing in our family, Laken's birth, her good health, and her spirit. That, and I'm very thankful that my parents don't live in Indiana anymore and we are able to see them more often and on holidays.

People don't always give thanks for the good things in their lives. I am as guilty of that as the next person.

Giving thanks for God's gifts is something that we shouldn't just reserve for one day out of the year, but should practice every day, every year.

What am I thankful for this year? The same things I am thankful for each day.

My safety, my job, my cars for not giving me any major problems lately, my country, my freedom.... all kinds of little things and bigger things.

My friends... ( I really have some awesome ones)

Our men and women in the armed forces....

And above all, my family, my wife, and my God and savior.

For all of you out there to whom I haven't wished a Happy Thanksgiving, I extend those belated wishes to you.

A Fantastic End To A Really Lousy Week

(Editor's Note: This post is a few days ovedue, but this is the first chance I've had to sit down at the computer for any length of time since then)

Several months ago, my wife and found out that on March 21, one of our favorite bands -- Casting Crowns -- would be at our local entertainment venue, the Bi-Lo Center. Yet, we also knew that we had other things that the $70 cost of the tickets could better go toward. So everytime for the past couple months we heard mention of the concert we just kind of sighed and turned the station. "Nope, don't want to hear about it. We're not going, no sense in hearing about it."

Fast forward to the day of the concert....

My wife and are at the local Crossway store right down the road from our place, looking for a birthday gift for her sister. We made our way back to the CD section where I start listening to some new CDs that had recently come out. She walks up to me and starts talking. Then suddenly we hear, "Sorry man, I haven't been able to find anyone to take those Casting Crowns tickets off your hands." Huh? We both look up quizzically.

So we go over and talk to the sales associate that we had just overhead. Turns out some friends of his are about to head in to the Bi-Lo Center with two unused (the couple who were going to use them had to bail because of lack of a babysitter) tickets. "How much do they want," I ask. "They're free. They just want someone to use them," he responds. "SWEET!", I think.

This is at 6:55 we find this out. The show starts at 7. So we tear down to the Bi-Lo Center, park near the top of the parking deck, make our way over to will-call, get our tickets, and find our seats. We miss the first act in the process... and sit down about three songs into the second act.

We were jazzed. This was just the best thing to cap off a really lousy week of sneezing, coughing, stuffy head, headaches, and sore throats for both of us, along with a missed day of work for me because I had been feeling so horrible. God knew that we needed some lifting up.

The concert ended up one of the best I've ever seen from an entertainment standpoint. Keep in mind, this is coming from someone whose seen probably more than 30 concerts over the last two decades -- starting off with a rain-soaked NKOTB-Tiffany concert to Van Halen to Travis Tritt to Metallica to MercyMe.

The best show I've ever seen from an entertainment standpoint and a worship standpoint was a Rebecca St. James - Barlow Girl show at the new Gaffney High School three years ago in their gym. It was phenomenal.

I think that in itself says alot about what I'm listening to these days and my outlook and spirituality now versus years ago. Years ago, I would go hang with my college friends at a Metallica concert just to have our eardrums blasted out. As much as I might leave the dial on a Metallica song just to turn it up in the car now, I think I'd turn down one of their concerts. Some of my good ol' 80s music -- REO, Night Ranger, Journey -- yeah, I'd go to the concert. For the pure entertainment value.

Now I'm listening to contemporary christian music as my primary music souce (and have five stations to choose from on the local dial).

Getting back to the Casting Crowns show, what really makes a show like theirs stand out is that they do things that I haven't seen any other artists do. They had the words to their songs up on the screen. They had a local artist doing hand paintings of images and words to go along with the music. They would take time between songs to talk about the scripture relating to the song, what inspired them to write it, how God talked to them at the time and what he is saying to us through their music. They prayed after every couple of songs, encouraged the audience to sing along with them, and truly connected with the audience on a very spiritual level. It was a very, very powerful worship experience, as well as a very entertaining one.

One of the things that really impressed me is the fact that they allow local high school strings program participants to play with them on stage at each venue at which they perform. These kids are so talented. I can't imagine how and what they felt being able to help bring the messages of those songs to the people at the concert. At one point the camerman had focused in on one of the violinists, during a song in which they were not playing, and she was singing the words along. That was awesome.

The feeling of joy in that arena was palpable during the entire show. Everyone was singing. Cellphones were up in the air (so bizarre is that fact when I look back at the Van Halen or Def Leppard concerts of high school and college when lighters in the air was the thing to do). My wife and I both left the show amazed by the performance and the message that Casting Crowns had brought.

It turned out to be an amazing night that we basically lucked into (I know that God knew that we needed it) and one that we are very thankful for. I tried to give the guy who left the tickets for us at will call some money for the tickets, but he wouldn't take any.

Christmas Thoughts

It's been awhile since my last post... I know. I've had a lot going on -- both with the holiday season, with work, with being lazy and not writing anything worthwhile to post....

But today is Christmas -- the most worthwhile topic to discuss. So I'm attacking this from several different angles, some of which will be entertaining, some of which will be very serious.

The photo above I shot of our advent candles at church. I no idea that it would turn out like that, I frankly was just playing around. I love photography. It's somewhat of an accidental hobby. I had to take photos as a newspaper reporter when I first started out in journalism. I don't have a decent camera of my own --- so I use my work camera to explore my hobby. I think I'll start posting some of my work periodically. But I love this photo. I love it because it shows the peacefulness and beauty of this holiday season. When I look at it, I can't help but thank God for the most wonderful gift that he ever sent us -- his son. I thank God for all he has blessed us with, blessed me with, and pray that he wil provide comfort, wisdom, and courage to all who need it, not only this holiday season, but throughout the year.

This is a time of year that is very hard for me. My grandfather died in December 1999. Christmases since then have felt like something has been missing. But I know he is with me in my heart. And I know he is watching out for me. I miss him. I know anyone who has ever lost a loved one can identify with that feeling.

But I've been thinking about something else alot lately. We had a lesson at church a few weeks ago where we discussed with each other some of our Christmas memories and wishes. One of the ladies at our table when asked what her one wish was for this Christmas was for our troops to be brought home. Think about this - we have been in Iraq now longer than our troops were involved in World War II. Many of our troops have served multiple tours either in Iraq or Afghanistan, or both, since 9/11. Putting my political views aside on the war, I wish they would be brought home for Christmas, every last one of them. That would be a wonderful gift. I wish I could see each and every one of them get off their plane on the home soil and watch their loved ones run to them. Our men and women in the service are defending us and putting their lives before ours this Christmas and, knowing that God has a plan for each and every one of us, pray that they are kept safe and know that they are loved.

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So how has my Christmas season gone?

Here's a quick rundown:

I waited until the Friday before Christmas to shop for my wife. I hate buying women's clothes and am no good at it to begin with. I could not find anything I wanted to get. So Saturday we went out to the mall, I gave her money for clothes and she bought clothes. I went and grabbed a few odds and ends while she was doing that. Christmas shopping done.

Sunday we went to our early service at church. which we typically go to because my wife sings in the praise team. Music was great, as always. We wished our friends a merry Christmas. Ducked out from the children's play to finish some Christmas grocery shopping. After that, we went to my sister-in-law's for Christmas with the in-laws. My nephews (ages 7 and 6) along with my neice (2) loved their gifts. And we had a blast watching them open them up. We bought the 6-year-old nephew an electronic parrot which was the hit of the day.

Monday, Christmas Eve, was low key for the first part of the day. One of our friends lost her mother earlier this year so we invited her up for Christmas dinner at our house. Between chores to clean the house, we wrapped presents for each other. Christmas wrapping done. All gifts finally under the tree. Our friend came over, we had a nice meal, and then called some other friends to see if they wanted to go to the 11 pm Christmas Eve service at our church. So we all went to that. It was being led by our church's college students. There were a few logistical hiccups, which brought some laughs, but we had a very nice time. We came back, built a fire, and at about 12:30 opened our gifts to each other. Then we watched the Santa Clause 3. Went to sleep late and woke up about 9:30 am.

I called my folks and wished them a Merry Christmas. Talked to them for a while, and then we hit the road to my wife's aunt's house for Christmas lunch. Went and had some good food, fellowship, and conversation. Went to visit an uncle of my wife's who is in the hospital. Came home, and went out with the friends that went with us to Christmas Eve service to Denny's for Christmas supper. The place was packed. Considering it was either that, IHOP, or Waffle House, we knew we were in for a long line. But, that's what you get for Christmas in Greenville, SC when you go out for supper.

Friday it's off to Charlotte to spend the day with my family.

In the end, it was a fun few days. I enjoyed it - and do not look forward to taking the decorations down, nor to how much crap my wife comes home with in the morning.

An Interesting Couple of Months

My wife and I have been going through a bit of a transition for the last 5 weeks relating to our church.

Some background that might be relevant to this story:

• Our church, which we just started attending 2 years ago this month, has had an "Early Service" for just shy of 3 years. Apparently it wasn't easy to get set up. This is a 150-year-old church I'm talking about here where most of the session members in the church grew up together some 60 to 70 years ago.
• Last summer, our pastor left for a calling at a church in North Carolina. An interim was brought in about the first of December 2006.
• This Spring, our former praise team leader KDC announced she was leaving the praise team. Shortly after that, she told us that she and her husband had decided to start looking at other churches. KDC is a 5th generation member of our church.
• A new praise team leader was brought in at the beginning of August.
• While people at the church may say that they feel our "Early Service" is moving forward and is successful, a large percentage are scared of it being called "Contemporary" and for that matter don't want a "Contemporary" service even though they continue to deny this but we continue to hear backhanded comments about it through the grapevine.
• One of the things that attracted us to this church was that the Praise Team at the "Early Service" was singing songs we enjoyed -- because the vast majority of them were contemporary.

Now we're sort of at a crossroads. There have been a lot of hurt feelings in the past few months because of some issues a lot of people at the church have been dealing with for a long time. There have been and still are some hurt feelings because of things that were and weren't said during the hiring process of the new praise team leader.

Around that time we lost another member of the "Praise Team" because she and her husband felt that our church was no longer a good fit for them. So in the process, the Praise Team has lost a very special feel to it that had been key in developing a close bond between the members. And it lost two very special people, who I would go to the wall for any day.

At first my wife and I decided we'd try to tough it out even though we weren't too sure of everything that was going on and how we felt about it. After a few practices with the new praise team leader, it was evident that this was going to be a very bumpy trip down "Music-we-don't-want-to-sing-because-it-just-don't-feel-right Lane" with no evident end in sight. My wife was frustrated with that and other things. I had been running the sound for the Praise Team and the "Early Service." I got frustrated not only with the fact that she was frustrated, but also for other various reasons.

So we decided to take a break. It's been five weeks now.

We went to our "Traditional Service" a few weeks ago. I remembered very quickly why I have always felt somewhat of a disconnect with God in the traditional church setting. It is so regimented; the recitation makes you feel like a robot; and it is just stuffy. There is no inspiration to it. I don't feel like it allows me to be in touch with God as closely and to worship him comfortably, in a way I want to communicate with him. Our "Early Service" started off making me feel so much closer to God than I ever have in church. I loved that experience. I love being able to talk to God and have a worship experience with him that I enjoy. That may sound selfish, but I don't think people should be forced to all worship God with the same songs, the same recitations, and the same monotone methods week in ,week out.

I also enjoy being able to sing songs that are written in a language that makes sense in modern times. I know there are people that love the traditional old hyms. I've never been a big fan of that. I like the contemporary stuff.

That word in itself scares alot of people who grew up in traditional church settings. We're seeing it first hand at our church.

We went back to the "Early Service" this morning. It was weird. The new praise team leader has changed up the Doxology from what we used to call the Funkology because it had a killer bassline to some really singsongy, showtuney version. I couldn't sing it. I just shook my head dumbfounded. None of the songs that were sung this morning had any relation to the message of the Sermon at all -- which was something that we had been working on establishing more and more of until all the recent changes.

Now we're not sure what to do.

We have a terrific,wonderful, close-knit group of friends in our Sunday School class who are some of the greatest people we have ever met. We have great discussions and studies in our class; we have all grown together spiritually and been there to support each other through bad times and share each other's joys in good times. We have each other over to our respective houses for various events like Super Bowl parties or Halloween parties. Several of the couples from our class went on a trip to the mountains a few weekends ago, ourselves included, and had a blast.

We don't want to be disconnected from that element. But we're so frustrated with the worship styles right now at the church and some other people's attitudes toward those.

Our only temporary solution for the time being is to pray for guidance from God and know that he will help lead us down the path that he knows is best for our souls and spirit.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Isaiah 40:31 (NLT) "The Lord is the everlasting God, The creator of all the Earth, He never grows weak or weary, No one can measure the depths of His understanding, He gives power to the weak, and strength to the powerless, Even youth will become weak and tired, And young men will fall in exhaustion, But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength, They will soar high on wings like eagles, They will run and not grow weary, They will walk and not faint"

It kinda seems appropriate to keep that in mind as we go through this transition.

Other Things In Store

About a month ago, I applied for a job with one of the local municipalities. They are starting up a communications office and I thought that it would be a wonderful opportunity for me. The job would have been 1/3 of the distance from home than my current one is, would have paid a good bit more, and probably would have been a great next step for my career.

You may notice that I'm writing about the job opportunity in the past tense.

I didn't get the job. I got that call yesterday morning. And I wasn't too tremendously upset about it. Yeah, I would have liked to have had the job. I won't deny that.

I don't make near market value for my position. I have a 35 minute commute into work and a 45 minute commute out. During the school year, I work a lot of evenings and weekends.

But I really enjoy the job I have right now. It allows me to do things I enjoy, and I have some great coworkers - they're very good people to work with. I've made some friends at this jobs that I'll probably stay in close touch with for years to come; a lot of the vendors I've come to know are really fun to work with; and the students at the college I just have a blast working with, watching their antics, and just listening to the way the conversate with each other.

A college is a great place to work -- and I think the college I work at is a very special place. It's small and tight knit, but people look out for each other. There is a strong sense of family. We look out for each other.

I'm going to go into territory now that you may or may not agree with and/or feel comfortable reading.

Until recent years, I struggled with my faith alot. I've always been one of those people who has to see the concrete evidence or have things explained away by science. Alot has happened in the past few years that has really tested, yet strengthened my faith. I trust God completely with my life and know that he has plans for me that I am unaware of and that he knows what is best for me.

We all don't have the same beliefs. It is everyone's own perogative to develop and practice their own faith and beliefs. I have developed my own, but despite that, I don't feel the need to explain every aspect of my faith and beliefs to every person on the street nor do I have the right to judge people for their own beliefs. Nobody does.

I know God has plans for me. I guess that my leaving the job I'm currently in right now just isn't in his plans. And I am fine with that.