The Day the Twinkie Died

Flash-forward to autumn of the year 2029.

My daughter has just started her freshman year at Clemson University. One evening her and some friends have decided to go to Oldies Night in the Hendrix Student Center's McKissick Movie Theater for showings of some classic 1980s movies.

Up first is "Ghostbusters", widely recognized as one of the best comedies of all time.

(You and I know this convesation by heart)
     Winston: "Tell him about the Twinkie..."
     Venkman: "What about the Twinkie...?" 
(In case you don't remember the details of the Twinkie, here's a refresher video...)

"Any of y'all know what a Twinkie is ?," asks one of Ashlyn's friends.

Ashlyn eating her first - and probably last ever - Twinkie

Ashlyn responds, "It was some sort of snack cake. My parents have a picture of me eating one when I was little...the day they stopped making them...the day the Twinkie died."

About That Day

Rewind to November 16, 2012. 

I learned about the Twinkie's demise .... the demise of Hostess, an 82-year old company and the manufacturer of some of our nation's most recognized bakery snacks...on Facebook. 

My wife knew about it earlier in the day and posted about it on Facebook. I hadn't scrolled down far enough to see her post when I saw a post from a friend of mine about Hostess' closure and instantly shared it out and commented. We (she and I) have always had a thing for one-upping each other as far as knowing things before the other, so she won out this time.

At first, I didn't really think everybody would go Twinkie crazy. Then it was like the Zombie Apocolypse hit and people started talking on Facebook about going to the store and stocking up on them. Then I started reading more and more posts about people running to the store to get some.

My wife began telling me when she got home from work to go buy some. Finally, after reading even more stuff online, I was like, "Okay. We need to go now. I may never be able to eat another Twinkie again if we don't."
 
Apparently today was the day that Ebay also went nuts. With people selling Twinkies. And any type of Hostess products or memorabilia they had or could get their hands on. 

Our final haul of Hostess stuff

We went to at least 10 convenience or grocery stores. Our only score was a bag of Hostess donuts at Publix and a handful of Hostess products at Dodge's General Store down the road from our house.

After getting home, a choice had to be made. Eat them or frame them? Eat them it was. That the best Twinkie I think I've ever had. It made reflect...

Emotions and Stuff

... I was sad that day. And mad. And nostalgic.

Twinkies have always been in my life. My dad is a fan of them. I'm a fan of them. Although in recent years, I've admittedly developed more of an affinity for Zingers. That's where the sad and nostalgic comes into the story.

The mad part, well that's my political side coming out.

Hostess has been around for 82 years, employing hundreds of thousands of people during that time. They are an icon of capitalism, the American dream, Americana, hard work and determination, and economic vitality - at least until recent years, and a lot of that had to do with unions.

When America's first unions began to establish themselves, there was a genuine reason for that. Working conditions in many industries were absolutely horrible. There hardly were any such things as safety protocols. Company owners and managers could get away with pretty much anything they wanted to at the expense of their workers. 

In their purest, truest sense, unions were a great solution to curb most of those behaviors and practices - while still allowing the business/organization to thrive. 

What we have seen in recent years though (for far too many reasons to name) are companies that have been forced to reorganize or relocate (in many of those cases causing mass layoffs) just in order to survive - or close, as is the case with Hostess. Their closure will result in the loss of an 18,500+ member workforce. 

Another major blow to our economy. When that many people go out of work, it has serious economic repercussions in more ways and in more lives than we can imagine. It affects our entire nation.

I know there's people who will go to the wall for their beliefs in the idea of unions. But I'm just not one of them. Fortunately, South Carolina is a right-to-work state which means you won't find many unions here. They are few and far between. 

Our economic developers will not in most cases even talk to companies who are interested in relocating or expanding to our state if that company has unionized workers. One of the first questions our EDs will ask a company when they express an interest in South Carolina is "Are your workers unionized / are you a union company?"  If the answer is yes, the we will ask "Do you have a transfer clause?"  If a transfer clause exists, that means the union charter allows it to transfer along with the company to another state or location. If the answer is yes, the state will immediately cease talks with them. If the answer is no, we'll invite them over to come check our great state out.

Unfortunately, with the leadership (or lack thereof) in our current administration in Washington DC, we're probably going to see more instances of companies like Hostess having to deal with this type of situation - especially with what's going on with Obamacare coming into full effect and our economy in the shape it is, but that's a discussion for another day and time.

Getting Back to the Story

So I'm sad that the memory of the Twinkie will more or less be lost on the generation of kids that will soon be going through our elementary schools - and for our future generations. They'll never know that original, great taste of a REAL Twinkie instead of that of BlueBird Twinkie knockoffs. (By the way, I'm not an economist by any means... but they are probably in for a huge increase in sales in 2013)

For all you health nuts out there, you can complain about the nutritional detriment of a Twinkie, or a Ho-Ho, or a Ding Dong, or a Snowball, or a Zinger all you want. Go ahead. It doesn't matter to me, and unfortunately it won't matter to Hostess anymore.

So long Twinkie the Kid. It's been great knowing you - we (at least I) wish you weren't riding off into the sunset.

Why George... Why?

Dear George Lucas:

First you went as far as to have Greedo shoot first. Not cool.

Then you destroyed your core fanbase's hopes for three ultra-kickin' new chapters of the best sci-fi movie series ever by including a talking amphibian that makes flatulence jokes.

You went on to make the most overly-gaudy, CGI-heavy movie with Attack of the Clowns....

Developed some of the worst dialogue I've ever heard in the Revenge of the Sith. "Hold me, like you did by the lake on Naboo; so long ago when there was nothing but our love. No politics, no plotting, no war." C'mon, man.... Yuck.

Oh, I see.... you couldn't leave well enough alone. You had to go and make an animated movie. Of the Clone Wars? Again.. C'mon, dude....

At least if you were going to make an animated movie, set it between Sith and A New Hope so that Vader could be in it.

You suck George. You couldn't leave the ships dingy, dirty, and battle-scarred. You had to give them a CGI sheen. You wouldn't work with someone elses' novelization of what proved to be an awesome triology in "Heir to the Empire" and turn those into movies...

You had to turn Indiana Jones into a story about aliens. Finding Atlantis just wasn't good enough, huh?

Instead you decide to give us more garbage.

The Clone Wars --- as a computer animated movie? We put so much faith in your storytelling and your ability to fascinate us with space battles on a limited budget. Now you go and do this?

Well, I'm through with your garbage. As much of a mark as you made on my generation's fascination with sci-fi and my childhood toy collection, I will never undertand why you did this to us.

Why George, why?

Sincerely,

Disgusted in South Carolina

Time For Another MPAA Ratings Change

We saw the new Narnia movie last night.

I liked it -- it had great scenery, great action sequences, decent acting, and a decent storyline. I never read the book so I can't really argue about what they did or didn't put in the movie. But overall, it was a very good sequel.

But I do have one major issue with it ------ it was a little too violent to have a PG rating. There is a scene where the Narnians are literally being slaughtered as their escape route is cut off and one of the main characters has to make a decision whether to flee or go back and face certain death. It was a very, very intense scene.

Of course there was a lot of battle violence throughout the movie anyway. Granted they really didn't show any blood, but I don't think you really need to show blood in a battle for children to have a lot of misunderstandings as to what is going on, for them to have a lot of questions, or for them to get scared.

There were so many children under the age of seven or eight in that movie theater that I couldn't count them all. There were many toddlers and even a few infants. Personally, I think toddlers and infants shouldn't be brought to the movies period -- not only because of potential emotional or psychological impact from the movie but because a movie theater is just not a place for a child that young. Children that young are hard enough for their parents to keep up with anyway, but they tend to be distracting to other moviegoers. Especially crying babies.

Personally, I would never take a young child to a movie, let alone let them watch it on TV, without thoroughly researching it. If it is something that I think I would still be wary about even after researching it, I would have to see it first before I were to make a decision to let them see it.

I think the MPAA has made a lot of strides in recent years in its rating methodology. Movies with violent battles, extreme cursing, or inappropriate subject matter for children are having a much harder time getting a lesser rating. Granted in some cases, I know there are movie directors/producers/writers/studios that want that higher MPAA rating because they know it will mean more $$ in their pockets and will draw a larger crowd that is interested in coming out just to see why the movie received the rating it has.

Should Prince Caspian have received a PG rating? I don't think so. It should have received a PG-13 rating. Should the MPAA revise its rating system even further? Yes. Every rating shoud be tightened down.

So I think the MPAA ratings need to be changed from top to bottom in the following fashion:

• G: All audiences admitted, parents encouraged to attend with children
• PG: Children younger than the age of 13 must have a parent with them during the movie
• PG-T(EEN): Children younger than 13 are not allowed in the theater. Period. Children between the ages of 13 and 18 must have a parent with them
• R: Children younger than 18 are not allowed in the theater. Period
• NC-18: Just have this take the place of any X, XX or XXX ratings. Nobody younger than 18 admitted.

There are a lot of bad things in this world that children are being exposed to more and more. Drugs, sex, nudity, language, adult content, violence of any form -----

Popular culture and the media are innundating our society with these things and children are experiencing things because of that at a much younger age than they should be (and many things that they should never have to experience).

We as a society should become more responsible in regard to this and give our children more of a chance to retain their innocence and let them be kids longer.

I remember seeing Star Wars in the the theater when I was little; I remember Raiders of the Lost Ark being the first movie my Dad and I saw in the theater without my mom. I thought the action in both was cool. Han Solo and Indiana Jones (aka Harrison Ford) made both of those movies hits. But I never turned to violence because of what I saw in the movies or TV.

I think my parents did a very good job raising me and my sister. They taught us good morals, instilled a strong belief system in us, taught us right from wrong, and always remained concerned about what we watched and listened to. I admire them for their parenting.

But there are a lot of parents out there that just don't seem to care about what their children are exposed to; who don't talk to their children about the things they see or hear; or who don't monitor what their children are doing. Yes children need their freedom to be children, but they don't need so much freedom that they do things in the real world that they think won't have consquences to them or other people just because they saw someone do that on TV or in the movies.

Parents need to be more accountable for the actions of their children. There are too many parents nowadays that are too lenient with their children, too ignorant of what their children are doing, and too into themselves and not their children. We can't just blame only the children for what they do anymore. Negative actions of children are not always entirely their own fault --- those actions often can be attributed to parents not being good parents.

It doesn't take much to become a mother or father. That math is pretty simple. But it takes alot to be a parent.

Children need good role models. They need their parents to be good role models who make decisions for them that will guide those children to become role models themselves when they get older. So to help those role models develop, society needs to jump in and help steer the wheel. We all need to be a part of that --- and so does the MPAA.

The Magic of the Movies

My wife and I went to go see Harry Potter: The Order of the Phoenix on Sunday. We went to the local 600 seat, full-THX sound digitial theater. I like the sound and the chairs at this theater better than the other local ones. Plus, their matinee prices are a -little- lower than the others.

I hadn't figured it out until now, but I think I realized why their ticket prices are lower. Because their concession prices aren't any lower, matter of fact I think they're higher -- and you don't get nearly the amount of drink or popcorn that you do at other local theaters.

I ordered a medium soft drink, a large Mountain Dew Freeze for my wife, and a medium popcorn to share. When they handed us our order, I took one look at and actually said, without even realizing I was saying it, "What the hell is this? I get way more than that for my money at the Hollywood 20." The guy behind the counter just looked at me and didn't say a thing, so I grabbed the stuff and we walked in and had a seat.

20 minutes into the movie I had totally forgot abot being frustrated with the price of the concessions.

I couldn't get over how much better this Potter movie was versus any of the others. From the first scene to the last, it completely outdid all of the others. It answered alot of questions, but created many of its own. The action, the emotions, the story, the CG was all so much more exciting. But what really made the movie was the acting. The cast, Daniel, Emma, and Rupert have all grown up so much since the first movie and have really come into their own as actors.

But the part that in the movie that got to me more than any other was during the main battle scene when visions of Harry from all the other movies are being interspersed and then the emotion as Sirious sacrifices himself for Harry.

Now I'm probably one of the biggest movie buffs you'll ever meet. I absolutely love watching movies --- but the best way to do so is to see them in the theater. That experience just seems to heighten every sense and every emotion involved in watching a movie.

Kamran over at PointOfOrder recently had some really interesting comments on the topic of movies,also.

There are several movies as a whole that I will never forget seeing in the theater: Star Wars (all of them, save the new trilogy which I'd rather forget); The Black Hole (which is the only movie I can vividly recall seeing in a drive-in); The Rocky Horror Picture Show (saw it at the on-campus movie theater when I was at Clemson); Goonies, Gremlins, and Back to the the Future (the first three movies I can recall not having my parents around in and just me and friends hanging out in the theater watching on our own); and Raiders of the Lost Ark (the first movie that I remember just me and my Dad going to see on our own).

Then there are others that I originally saw in the theater that I always associate with the memory of a certain emotion when I see watch them again. I got a little misty-eyed when Todd was dropped off in the woods in The Fox and the Hound; when Forrest asked Jenny if Forrest Jr. had problems like him; or when the brothers die near the end of Red Dawn.

I distinctly remember my jaw dropping in fascination at the air combat in Top Gun; and how much I laughed at so many of the lines from Ghostbusters ("Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown!")

Then there are the sounds of the movies when you watch them in the theaters that you just don't get at home. The zooming of the car from one side of the theater to the other in Days of Thunder; the creaking and breaking apart of the ship in Titanic; blades slicing on ice in the Cutting Edge; or the blaster fire ricocheting around the garbage compactor in Star Wars....

And there is the smell of the theater (although the theater we used to frequent in college could have used some desperate help in this department) and the tastse of the previously mentioned, usually quite pricey, concessions. There is nothing better than that greasy, movie buttered popcorn to munch on while you're watching Rocky beat the crap out of Dolph Lundgren.

The movie experience is simply one of those slices of Americana that I hope never goes away. Sitting in front of a TV watching a DVD or Pay Per View may be convenient and cheaper, but the experience will never be the same.

Happy (Belated) Birthday Star Wars!

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

(Bah bom, bom, ba dada, dom dom, ba dada dom, dom, dada da dom)

May 25, 1977 - A day that will live in cinematic history. The day that a rag-tag group of freedom fighters struck back at the evil Galactic Empire and changed the tides of science fiction history forever (along with the dreams of virtually every American male). Forget Farah Fawcett, Carrie Fisher was the newest babe whose posters were hung up across America. Han Solo became what Steve Miller had claimed to be -- a space cowboy and a gangster of love. Luke Skywalker (as dorky as he was) became the man who fired the shot, the proverbial death knell, which ultimately put the Empire out of business. C3PO was the first robot that people just wanted to smack. R2D2 became everyone's idea of the perfect robotic sidekick. And Chewbacca -- well, what can you say about a 7-foot-tall crossbow carrying, bandolier wearing mix between a gorilla and a dog - he was just bad-ass.

A few weeks prior, I had just turned three, so I vaguely remember watching Episode IV: A New Hope in the theater. But it was enough to wow me for life.

Star Wars became my favorite thing to watch, talk about, collect, and immerse myself into. It still is. Over time, I collected most of the toys (which, even though worse for wear, are packed away in my parents' attic). I've bought all of the multiple formats and versions of the original triology. I bought up most of the re-issued toys back in the 90s. I've bought and read most of the books. My wife calls it clutter - I call it treasure.

I can quote the original trilogy almost in its entirety, from beginning to end.

Plain and simple, I love Star Wars. And although I'm not very fond of the new trilogy (Jar Jar in particular), I will always have a fascination for the Star Wars mythology. Star Wars is responsible for my love of Science Fiction. It's probably responsible for my fascination with space exploration as a whole.

On May 24, 1977, I don't think the cinematic world had a clue what was about to happen or what it was in for.

May the force be with you!