Six Months (Almost)

Today was the first time my wife and I left our daughter with a babysitter. Granted, we actually babysat our babysitter, ourselves, when she was a baby - but she is more like family to us now. We even refer to her as one of our daughters when she is out with us somewhere.

Even still, its been almost six months since my wife and I have been anywhere together without our daughter Ashlyn. My wife handled it better than I thought she would. Admittedly, we were both a little nervous. But we were only going to be gone for a couple of hours. And we knew we could trust "our other daughter" Abby with her. They love each other and we knew she would take good care of her.

The six-month thing struck us though. It's hard to believe our little girl is nearly that old. She's changed so much. Now she's trying to skip crawling and go straight to walking; she has this fire in her that she wants to be able to do so much more than she can; she's eating baby food, teething, sitting up almost with no support, has more than doubled her birth-weight, and is, overall, just awesome. My wife and I have been blessed with a beautiful girl who we adore, loves 80s music and prunes, laughs at Elmo, and burps and passes gas like a champ. She is truly the light of our lives.

We've had some challenges in the past six months though that she has gotten us through.


My wife has some severe complications from her c-section and developed an infection which required several surgeries. She spent nearly two additional weeks in the hospital and then spent her maternity leave at home recovering for a month and a half unable to do most of the things she wanted to do with Ashlyn. Breastfeeding was out of the question because of all the meds. And she couldn't really pick Ashlyn up and play with her hardly at all for the first several weeks of her life. My wife had an incredibly hard time with that. I took almost all my vacation and sick time from work to stay at home and take care of my girls. A few days before I was going to go back to work, my boss called me in and told me they were eliminating and outsourcing my position to an agency that we had been using for some other services as well. Nice.

So I've been at home being Mr. Mom since the beginning of June - taking care of Ashlyn, job hunting, doing housework... I decided at the start I wasn't going to be bitter or angry about being out of a job because it would do me no good. Doesn't mean I can't be stressed though. Sometimes I feel kind of useless since I'm not working at a job - but then I get over it. My job right now is to find a job, take care of my daughter, and be the best husband and father I can.


Everyone says a baby will change your life. Truer words have never been spoken. I adore my nephews and nieces, love them, and would do anything for them - but being a dad takes those feelings to an extreme. I tell my daughter all the time "I love you from the moon to the stars and even further." She has brought so much joy into our lives. 

She's such a character.

There are so many nuances of her personality that are hilarious to watch. Sure, there are things that are challenging about her personality - she's impatient, stubborn, and sneaky. But she's a very happy baby, who loves to laugh and smile, meet new people, show off all her new skills,and is very attentive at church. She amazes us more and more every day.


Being parents have changed us and taught us a lot. Our first thoughts in the morning are not about hitting the snooze button anymore, but of going into her room and greeting her for the day. On most days, she's already up and waiting for us to come get her. She greets us with this electric smile that literally makes her body shake in excitement. 


She has taught me that despite whatever else is going on, family is number one. She's taught me to love more; not only toward her. She's taught me that some things I would have been bothered by in the past that other people do aren't really worth my time to be bothered by anymore. (Although being a parent brings a whole new set of things to the table that people do that bother me now, like disregarding the fact that there are children nearby by being loud, obnoxious, stupid, smoking in a public area, etc). She's taught me to treasure the blessings in my life even more. 

She's taught me so much already , just in six months - and I can't wait to teach her new things every day to come, as well.

Little Miss Magic

As much as my wife and I thought we knew what to expect of becoming parents, we’ve both been put in our place over the last two and half weeks.

You can prepare for a baby financially…. You can prepare for a baby with material things… You can prepare their nursery and their wardrobe…

But the one thing I can’t get over is how much I have fallen in love with this little girl

I see a little more of me everyday
I catch a little more moustache turning gray
Your mother is the only other woman for me
Little miss magic, what you gonna be?
- Jimmy Buffet, Little Miss Magic

Sometimes I do just sit and watch her. Hold her in my arms and just look into those beautiful eyes. Look down into her bassinet and spend a few minutes just amazed that my wife and I created such a precious, innocent life.

It’s amazing. It’s something that I don’t think any expectant parent can prepare for.

Sometimes I catch her dreamin and wonder where that little mind meanders
Is she strollin along the shore or cruisin oer the broad savannah
I know someday shell learn to make up her own rhymes
Someday she's gonna learn how to fly
Oh that I wont deny
- Little Miss Magic

I do wonder what she thinks of when she sleeps. A friend of mine posted on my Facebook page the other day, “if they smile or laugh while sleeping they are playing with loved ones who have gone on to Heaven, angels.”

That hit me hard. She has such a beautiful smile. And she laughs in her sleep a lot. It’s actually really cute to watch. But after I read that comment, now I can’t help think, “Who’s she playing with now?” Great-Grandma Maxine? Grandma Doris?  Pop-Pop?

I wish they could all be here to watch her grow up. It breaks my heart that she will only know of them through what we tell her. But that’s our job as parents. To show her we love to her. To tell her how important family is. To teach her to love. To teach her to become her own person. To teach her to be strong in her faith.

Faith can't be taught
It's just something that is caught along the way
No faith is never taught
It's just something that they catch from watching you along the way
-    Mark Schultz, She Was Watching

She’s already starting to form her own personality. Wait, what am I talking about? She was doing that in the womb.

There are a few things we knew ahead of time about our little girl… That she’s stubborn, a fighter, spirited, a clown, and determined.

I can tell that all those are true.

But each day I see new traits developing. I watch her watching us. I can tell she’s got a million thoughts going on in that little head.

She has a tender heart, but she means business when she’s mad. She is expressive, but manipulative too. I think babies have that down pat.

I hope as she grows up that her mother and I will be parents that she will admire, trust, and love. I hope I will be a good father and model strong values and faith to her. I hope she becomes an individual who others look to for love, guidance, and support.

I have two amazing parents, who I love with all my heart. There’s so many ways they have influenced my life and who I’ve become that I am so thankful for…… I hope I will be as influential in who my daughter becomes.

But for right now, I’m going to want her to stay a little girl, my own Little Miss Magic, who actually is amazed by the blades of the fan on the ceiling.

I love you, baby girl.

A Letter from Ashlyn

Hey y'all, my name is Ashlyn Elizabeth. But my mommy and daddy also call me "Little Bit" and "Bug". 

Daddy has this fascination with my eyes -- he thinks when I open them real wide that they are so pretty, and he calls me "Pretty Eyes." He also has this thing with calling me "Baby Girl."

Anyway.... I was born the morning of March 22 -- at exactly 11:47 am.  I was 7 lbs 1 oz and 20 inches long. And I have a full head of dark brown hair.

Daddy and mommy and all my family say I'm beautiful. Not to be arrogant or anything, but I am. Everybody says so.... but who doesn't think babies are beautiful?

I am what Daddy calls "a clown." I like to act up, make people jump, and make people laugh. Mommy and Daddy knew that even before I was born.

Daddy may not admit it, but I have him wrapped around my little finger (and it's pretty little, only about 1-inch long). Some people might find that hard to do with him since he's so stubborn. But I just have to look at them the right way and they fawn all over me. I like that.

Mommy, on the other hand, is the one that doesn't gag when I have poopy diaper. She's also the one who has such a pretty voice when she sings to me. Daddy, not so much. He's just goofy.

They tell me I'm special. They call me their little miracle.

But I've found out that not only I am their daughter -- I'm the granddaughter of Jerry and Linda, Jack and Svetlana, and my grandma Doris who is in heaven with the angels. I'm the neice of Kristin and Anthony and Jaclyn and Ben. I'm the cousin of Laken, Cruz, Noah, Jonah and Molly Kate.

I have all kinds of people who love me and have come to visit me the past couple of days - my family and a bunch of mommy and daddy's friends, like my big sister Abby, aunt Katie, pastor Brandi ....

And I am child of God. Mommy and Daddy say he gave me to them as their bestest present ever. 

The jury's still out on Mommy and Daddy being the bestest parents ever, but they say they're going to be and are doing a good job so far - so I guess I'll keep them.

25 Years

Time passes so quickly. Along the way, we find milestones. We divide up time into segments and attach significance to those segments.

For some reason, someone at some point decided that every 25 years, every quarter of a century, would be a significant time-frame for reflection on an event.

25 years doesn’t really seem that long, but it is. And it’s also very quick.

300 months….. 9125 days…. 5,475,000 hours….. 328,500,000 minutes.... 19,710,000,000 seconds.

One day, you’re a sixth-grader, out of school on a snowy teacher workday. The next, you’re a 36-year-old dad-to-be, working as a public relations director at a college.

One day, it’s Jan. 28, 1986. The next, it’s Jan. 28, 2011.

Today is 25 years to the day since the flight of Challenger mission STS 51-L. It has been 25 years since it exploded shortly after launch and its crew – Dick Scobee, Greg Jarvis, Michael Smith, Judith Resnick, Ronald McNair, Ellison Onizuka, and Christa McAuliffe – ascended from the Earth into heaven. 

It has been 25 years since those heroes became angels.

It was one of those significant days in history that will be indeliably etched into the minds of a generation - as  the days of the Apollo 11 moon landing, assassination of John F. Kennedy, or the attack on Pearl Harbor were for generations before and Sept 11, 2001 was for another generation.

It really doesn’t seem that long ago. I still remember all the feelings associated with watching it unfold on TV and all the feelings afterwards. The hurt, the confusion… and then later on came the anger as we all learned about the circumstances of the launch and all the political maneuvering behind the scenes.

Is it bad that society as a whole tends to only reflect on significant events like this on their 25th, 50th , 75th, or 100th anniversary? Some may say no. Their argument may include reasons like “Why drag it back up every year?”  or "There's no benefit in talking about it anymore..." Unfortunately, we’re starting to hear that on Sept. 11th.

Is it bad that we don’t reflect significantly on those events more often than 25-year increments? Some people may say yes. Their argument may include reasons like “We constantly need to reflect on our history and what we are learning from it each year…” or “What happened then is still impacting us today….” Or “Those feelings just naturally come up at that time every year.”

I’ve blogged about my passion and interest in spaceflight and space exploration before. I’ve blogged about the impact of the loss of the Challenger crew on my life before. I’m not going to rehash all that right now; if you want you can go back and read it here

Ronald Reagan gave a very profound, inspirational, and impactful speech the night of the Challenger explosion. In it, he said, “Nothing ends here. Our hopes and our journey continue.”

Despite the current state of our space program, our economy, and our general public disinterest in exploring new frontiers, I hope that statement from President Reagan is indicative of greater things to come.

My daughter will be 24 on the 50th anniversary of the Challenger explosion. Many of her generation may only ever read about it in textbooks or on Wikipedia; or hear it talked about on grainy archival news footage.

But I will tell her about how it affected me. I will tell her about the importance of heroes, dreams, and ambition. Hopefully she will find it as inspirational as I do.

 “Challenger wasn’t the final chapter in space exploration; just a transitional chapter in this great book. The book will continue with new exciting chapters of exciting adventures, discoveries and achievements ….  It’s time for the next 25 years to unfold. Let us boldly look to the future,” June Scobee, wife of Challenger astronaut Dick Scobee, said this morning at a memorial at Kennedy Space Center.

So let’s see what the next 25-year chapter will bring.

Journalism: Call It an Inside Look or Reflection....

I haven’t thought about Rachel in awhile.

Rachel was just a teenager with a bright future. She was on a swim team. She was a great student. She was a loving daughter and sister.

But her life was cut short as she was pulled into a rapid one warm spring day while wading in the Chattooga River, drowned, and was swept away. It took months for her body to be recovered. Months of effort, challenges, and tears from her family and from local rescue squads went by.

It was a dangerous task. On more than one occasion, rescue personnel were nearly swept away in rapids themselves. They were putting their lives on the line so that her family could have closure and bring Rachel home.

Her father sought the help of a New Jersey company that made portable dams --- a series of those dams were what finally led to the retrieval of her body.

Months of being underwater took its toll. They first found her swimsuit.  A few days later, they retrieved her in pieces.

I was there they day they did that. Myself and a group of other reporters and photogs kept our distance out of respect. We didn’t push people to talk. We didn’t push cameras in people’s faces. We just took in the sad looks on the faces of those workers and of her family. Those told the story themselves.

Recently as I was moving some boxes around the house and putting up Christmas decorations, I found a box full of news clippings.

Save mundane city and county council meetings, and school board meetings, they were articles that I have kept from my time as a newspaper reporter.

I realized that it’s been 11 years this month since I worked as a full-time reporter.

Since then, I’ve done some freelancing here and there – nothing in about two years though. But I got to thinking about a lot of the experiences I had, the people I met, the stories I covered, and the ups and downs of being a small-town community reporter.

Many times it was horrible.

I stood by one day as first responders worked the scene of a multiple-car accident involving two fatalities. A drunken driver, who did not have the right of way and was killed in the accident, hit another car at excessive speed as it was pulling into an intersection.

In the other car, a mother sat in the driver’s seat, as workers cut parts of the car away to get her out. She kept talking to her son Zach, an 8-year-old boy, who was in the passenger seat, as the first responders worked.

I stood by, with a crowd of onlookers, our photog, and a reporter from another local newspaper, probably 25 feet or so from the vehicles, watching all this happen.

The rescue crews knew that Zach was gone. She didn’t. She kept saying to him as they worked, “It’s OK baby. Everything’s going to be fine. Everything’s going to be fine.”

After they got her out, she stood by screaming “Get my son out, get my son out” as the crews retrieved him from the car.

They lifted his body out. The look on the responders' faces as they held the young boy said it all.

“No,” his mom yelled. “NO!” Then she started screaming as she ran to her son and picked up his body from the man. “NO! Not my son!,” she screamed.  It was the most  god-awful scream I have ever heard.

I can still hear it sometimes. I can’t imagine what she was feeling, the emotions going through her at the time.

Those are experiences I don’t miss.

Then, many times being a reporter was fun and exciting. Sometimes you get to meet people you never would otherwise.

Being filled with adrenaline as a presidential candidate gets off a bus, walks into a building and speaks to a crowd of people all screaming, “Bush! Bush! Bush!” Trying to get that money shot as he’s working the crowds, shaking hands. Being encouraged by an AP photog who has been in this business for years, who is telling you "Just push your way through. Get out there. You're not going to get any good shots by standing here."

Covering the announcement of a new head football coach at your college alma mater. Being up front in the media row, asking questions and taking photos. Watching him in person putting on that orange jacket.

Shaking hands with a former vice-president,  becoming friends with a governor (who is now one of your Facebook friends as well), meeting the Speaker of the U.S. House, interviewing a musician or an astronaut, getting a behind-the-scenes tour of the Statehouse while it’s under renovation.  Been there, done all that. 

Stuff like that is awesome.

Do I wish sometimes that I still was in the business, sure. Am I glad I’m out of it, more often than not.

Still, I’ve got a bit of it in me. I enjoy the writing I do for my job. I enjoy the interactions I have with our local media.

And I know how they often feel. That helps me do my job.

I read articles and I can tell where the reporter is coming from. Journalism is supposed to be impartial. Trust me, it’s not in most cases. And the journalists who remain are often treated with a look of skepticism, sometimes a bit of distrust, sometimes with ambivalence. 

I often find myself watching the news (I worked in a TV newsroom for a few years also as an online editor) and am able to tell when certain people are trying to keep from laughing at things. You know what some of their expressions are about. You can tell when they think someone or something in a story is just stupid. It makes me miss working with them, but I still get to in other ways.

Journalism is a hard job. You make people mad. Sometimes you may have a school superintendent call you on a Saturday morning to bitch about something you wrote. Sometimes you get into arguments with county supervisors about the first amendment….. and the funny thing about that, is sometimes those supervisors later become friends and people you can laugh with about what is currently going on after they’ve left office.

But you work late hours. You get paid squat. You aren’t able to be there for you family at times when you may need to be. It has its downsides.

So to everyone reading, I say, whether you agree or disagree with a news report, even though you may or may not like them, just respect the reporter. Although I did meet and have worked with a few in my time that were pure jerks.

I recall this one time when I spent the day in Columbia with some legislator friends, interviewed both the lieutenant governor and the state superintendent of education, and participated in an executive press briefing with the aforementioned governor. Before he came into the room, during some banter amongst ourselves, one of the reporters (who I'm still not sure who they were) threw insult after insult after derogatory comment around about our governor, who could have walked in at any moment. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. But some people are like that, unfortunately.

Most journalists aren't like that though - at least the majority of the ones that I have worked with and encountered. 

Dealing with what you have to deal with as a journalist does often make you jaded. You become really cynical about a lot of things. That's a hazard of the job.

Still, journalism is a tough job, with often little reward. Journalists are people who have experienced many ups and downs in their workday and even spare time because of their job.  My hat's off to the folks who do that for a living.

I Resolve

2010 was one of those years. A lot really can’t be said for it.

Looking back at my blog posts for the year, you might wonder what was going on. Frankly, I am too. Not nearly as many posts as previous years. Kinda makes me wonder what I really accomplished last year.

I’m not really going to try to wonder why though.

I’m just going to start out the New Year fresh, with a positive outlook and happy for the life-changing miracle that God gave to my wife and I last year.

My daughter.

We’re currently in our final trimester, due April 7 – and totally ecstatic about our bundle of joy arriving healthy and ready to take on the world.

It’s definitely going to be life-changing. We’re both excited --- and scared and nervous too – but mostly excited about being parents. It’s something we’ve wanted for a long time.

We know we won’t be perfect parents. Nobody is. But we both already love this little girl more than words can say and are going to do our best to provide her everything she will ever need.

With that in mind, I’m going to start of the year with some resolutions.

I think technically you’re supposed to make New Year’s resolutions the first day of the new year, but I don’t think I’m really breaking any rules by making them a few days late.

So, here goes, in no particular order:

• I resolve to be the best daddy I can be – and be there for my little girl when she needs me and more
•  I resolve to be the best husband I can be – and be there for my wife when she needs me and more
• I resolve to lead a more healthy lifestyle – to eat better, to exercise, and to take care of myself better
• There is a big sub-resolution to this: I resolve to lose weight...
• I resolve to kick soft drinks
• I resolve to watch our money more tightly, not to eat out so much (but there will be special occasions when I will want to take my wife out), and not buy stuff that we don’t need. No more sudden impulse DVDs will be the big one.
• I resolve to spend more time with my wife – and focus on my family time more than time on anything else
• I resolve to stop bringing work home all the time and to not have that be the focus of all my spare time
• I resolve to stop getting on Facebook so much and to limit my time on it during my spare time
• I resolve to keep this blog updated more as time allows. I have a feeling a lot of posts will be made this year about my daughter.
• And I resolve to not stress so much over stupid things

We’ll see how I do.