Six Months (Almost)

Today was the first time my wife and I left our daughter with a babysitter. Granted, we actually babysat our babysitter, ourselves, when she was a baby - but she is more like family to us now. We even refer to her as one of our daughters when she is out with us somewhere.

Even still, its been almost six months since my wife and I have been anywhere together without our daughter Ashlyn. My wife handled it better than I thought she would. Admittedly, we were both a little nervous. But we were only going to be gone for a couple of hours. And we knew we could trust "our other daughter" Abby with her. They love each other and we knew she would take good care of her.

The six-month thing struck us though. It's hard to believe our little girl is nearly that old. She's changed so much. Now she's trying to skip crawling and go straight to walking; she has this fire in her that she wants to be able to do so much more than she can; she's eating baby food, teething, sitting up almost with no support, has more than doubled her birth-weight, and is, overall, just awesome. My wife and I have been blessed with a beautiful girl who we adore, loves 80s music and prunes, laughs at Elmo, and burps and passes gas like a champ. She is truly the light of our lives.

We've had some challenges in the past six months though that she has gotten us through.


My wife has some severe complications from her c-section and developed an infection which required several surgeries. She spent nearly two additional weeks in the hospital and then spent her maternity leave at home recovering for a month and a half unable to do most of the things she wanted to do with Ashlyn. Breastfeeding was out of the question because of all the meds. And she couldn't really pick Ashlyn up and play with her hardly at all for the first several weeks of her life. My wife had an incredibly hard time with that. I took almost all my vacation and sick time from work to stay at home and take care of my girls. A few days before I was going to go back to work, my boss called me in and told me they were eliminating and outsourcing my position to an agency that we had been using for some other services as well. Nice.

So I've been at home being Mr. Mom since the beginning of June - taking care of Ashlyn, job hunting, doing housework... I decided at the start I wasn't going to be bitter or angry about being out of a job because it would do me no good. Doesn't mean I can't be stressed though. Sometimes I feel kind of useless since I'm not working at a job - but then I get over it. My job right now is to find a job, take care of my daughter, and be the best husband and father I can.


Everyone says a baby will change your life. Truer words have never been spoken. I adore my nephews and nieces, love them, and would do anything for them - but being a dad takes those feelings to an extreme. I tell my daughter all the time "I love you from the moon to the stars and even further." She has brought so much joy into our lives. 

She's such a character.

There are so many nuances of her personality that are hilarious to watch. Sure, there are things that are challenging about her personality - she's impatient, stubborn, and sneaky. But she's a very happy baby, who loves to laugh and smile, meet new people, show off all her new skills,and is very attentive at church. She amazes us more and more every day.


Being parents have changed us and taught us a lot. Our first thoughts in the morning are not about hitting the snooze button anymore, but of going into her room and greeting her for the day. On most days, she's already up and waiting for us to come get her. She greets us with this electric smile that literally makes her body shake in excitement. 


She has taught me that despite whatever else is going on, family is number one. She's taught me to love more; not only toward her. She's taught me that some things I would have been bothered by in the past that other people do aren't really worth my time to be bothered by anymore. (Although being a parent brings a whole new set of things to the table that people do that bother me now, like disregarding the fact that there are children nearby by being loud, obnoxious, stupid, smoking in a public area, etc). She's taught me to treasure the blessings in my life even more. 

She's taught me so much already , just in six months - and I can't wait to teach her new things every day to come, as well.

Little Miss Magic

As much as my wife and I thought we knew what to expect of becoming parents, we’ve both been put in our place over the last two and half weeks.

You can prepare for a baby financially…. You can prepare for a baby with material things… You can prepare their nursery and their wardrobe…

But the one thing I can’t get over is how much I have fallen in love with this little girl

I see a little more of me everyday
I catch a little more moustache turning gray
Your mother is the only other woman for me
Little miss magic, what you gonna be?
- Jimmy Buffet, Little Miss Magic

Sometimes I do just sit and watch her. Hold her in my arms and just look into those beautiful eyes. Look down into her bassinet and spend a few minutes just amazed that my wife and I created such a precious, innocent life.

It’s amazing. It’s something that I don’t think any expectant parent can prepare for.

Sometimes I catch her dreamin and wonder where that little mind meanders
Is she strollin along the shore or cruisin oer the broad savannah
I know someday shell learn to make up her own rhymes
Someday she's gonna learn how to fly
Oh that I wont deny
- Little Miss Magic

I do wonder what she thinks of when she sleeps. A friend of mine posted on my Facebook page the other day, “if they smile or laugh while sleeping they are playing with loved ones who have gone on to Heaven, angels.”

That hit me hard. She has such a beautiful smile. And she laughs in her sleep a lot. It’s actually really cute to watch. But after I read that comment, now I can’t help think, “Who’s she playing with now?” Great-Grandma Maxine? Grandma Doris?  Pop-Pop?

I wish they could all be here to watch her grow up. It breaks my heart that she will only know of them through what we tell her. But that’s our job as parents. To show her we love to her. To tell her how important family is. To teach her to love. To teach her to become her own person. To teach her to be strong in her faith.

Faith can't be taught
It's just something that is caught along the way
No faith is never taught
It's just something that they catch from watching you along the way
-    Mark Schultz, She Was Watching

She’s already starting to form her own personality. Wait, what am I talking about? She was doing that in the womb.

There are a few things we knew ahead of time about our little girl… That she’s stubborn, a fighter, spirited, a clown, and determined.

I can tell that all those are true.

But each day I see new traits developing. I watch her watching us. I can tell she’s got a million thoughts going on in that little head.

She has a tender heart, but she means business when she’s mad. She is expressive, but manipulative too. I think babies have that down pat.

I hope as she grows up that her mother and I will be parents that she will admire, trust, and love. I hope I will be a good father and model strong values and faith to her. I hope she becomes an individual who others look to for love, guidance, and support.

I have two amazing parents, who I love with all my heart. There’s so many ways they have influenced my life and who I’ve become that I am so thankful for…… I hope I will be as influential in who my daughter becomes.

But for right now, I’m going to want her to stay a little girl, my own Little Miss Magic, who actually is amazed by the blades of the fan on the ceiling.

I love you, baby girl.

A Letter from Ashlyn

Hey y'all, my name is Ashlyn Elizabeth. But my mommy and daddy also call me "Little Bit" and "Bug". 

Daddy has this fascination with my eyes -- he thinks when I open them real wide that they are so pretty, and he calls me "Pretty Eyes." He also has this thing with calling me "Baby Girl."

Anyway.... I was born the morning of March 22 -- at exactly 11:47 am.  I was 7 lbs 1 oz and 20 inches long. And I have a full head of dark brown hair.

Daddy and mommy and all my family say I'm beautiful. Not to be arrogant or anything, but I am. Everybody says so.... but who doesn't think babies are beautiful?

I am what Daddy calls "a clown." I like to act up, make people jump, and make people laugh. Mommy and Daddy knew that even before I was born.

Daddy may not admit it, but I have him wrapped around my little finger (and it's pretty little, only about 1-inch long). Some people might find that hard to do with him since he's so stubborn. But I just have to look at them the right way and they fawn all over me. I like that.

Mommy, on the other hand, is the one that doesn't gag when I have poopy diaper. She's also the one who has such a pretty voice when she sings to me. Daddy, not so much. He's just goofy.

They tell me I'm special. They call me their little miracle.

But I've found out that not only I am their daughter -- I'm the granddaughter of Jerry and Linda, Jack and Svetlana, and my grandma Doris who is in heaven with the angels. I'm the neice of Kristin and Anthony and Jaclyn and Ben. I'm the cousin of Laken, Cruz, Noah, Jonah and Molly Kate.

I have all kinds of people who love me and have come to visit me the past couple of days - my family and a bunch of mommy and daddy's friends, like my big sister Abby, aunt Katie, pastor Brandi ....

And I am child of God. Mommy and Daddy say he gave me to them as their bestest present ever. 

The jury's still out on Mommy and Daddy being the bestest parents ever, but they say they're going to be and are doing a good job so far - so I guess I'll keep them.

I Resolve

2010 was one of those years. A lot really can’t be said for it.

Looking back at my blog posts for the year, you might wonder what was going on. Frankly, I am too. Not nearly as many posts as previous years. Kinda makes me wonder what I really accomplished last year.

I’m not really going to try to wonder why though.

I’m just going to start out the New Year fresh, with a positive outlook and happy for the life-changing miracle that God gave to my wife and I last year.

My daughter.

We’re currently in our final trimester, due April 7 – and totally ecstatic about our bundle of joy arriving healthy and ready to take on the world.

It’s definitely going to be life-changing. We’re both excited --- and scared and nervous too – but mostly excited about being parents. It’s something we’ve wanted for a long time.

We know we won’t be perfect parents. Nobody is. But we both already love this little girl more than words can say and are going to do our best to provide her everything she will ever need.

With that in mind, I’m going to start of the year with some resolutions.

I think technically you’re supposed to make New Year’s resolutions the first day of the new year, but I don’t think I’m really breaking any rules by making them a few days late.

So, here goes, in no particular order:

• I resolve to be the best daddy I can be – and be there for my little girl when she needs me and more
•  I resolve to be the best husband I can be – and be there for my wife when she needs me and more
• I resolve to lead a more healthy lifestyle – to eat better, to exercise, and to take care of myself better
• There is a big sub-resolution to this: I resolve to lose weight...
• I resolve to kick soft drinks
• I resolve to watch our money more tightly, not to eat out so much (but there will be special occasions when I will want to take my wife out), and not buy stuff that we don’t need. No more sudden impulse DVDs will be the big one.
• I resolve to spend more time with my wife – and focus on my family time more than time on anything else
• I resolve to stop bringing work home all the time and to not have that be the focus of all my spare time
• I resolve to stop getting on Facebook so much and to limit my time on it during my spare time
• I resolve to keep this blog updated more as time allows. I have a feeling a lot of posts will be made this year about my daughter.
• And I resolve to not stress so much over stupid things

We’ll see how I do.

I Promise

I promise to ....

"Promise" is a big word. It's like the word "love". You don't throw it around lightly. You should only say it when you mean it and when you know you can and will hold to it.

A promise to a child is something special. And I as anticipate the birth of my daughter, I think of what her life will be like. I think of what I will be like as a father.

I think about what our relationship will be like.

As with any father-daughter relationship, I know it will have its joys. And it will have its tears. We will have moments when we want to strangle each other - but I hope we will have moments when we absolutely want to hug each other, hear the other say "I love you," or just play with her Barbies. I hope those moments outnumber the others by far.

So as I think about those moments and look forward to meeting her, hearing her laugh, seeing her smile, and her mother and I raising her, I make these promises to my baby girl:

• I promise to nurture you
• I promise to make time for you
• I promise to hug you 
• I promise to show you Star Wars every chance I get
• I promise to God that I will raise you in a good Christian manner to follow his word
• I promise to let you be yourself
• I promise to tell you about your family who isn't here
• I promise to listen to you -- about your thoughts, opinions, dreams and any questions you may have
• I promise to tell you I love you every chance I get, and more
• I promise to give you space when you want it - but I won't be far away
• I promise to be skeptical of every guy that you ever like
• I promise to be your safe place 
• I promise to never make fun of you (although we can find a healthy medium for picking on each other)
• I promise to encourage you to follow your dreams
• I promise to make decisions that you may not like, but will be in your best interest
• I promise to protect you and your mommy
• I promise to never dress you in garnet
• I promise to spend daddy-daughter time with you
• I promise to never break your heart
• I promise that I will be the best daddy I can possibly be
• I promise to be there for you - to support you, to  teach you, and to laugh with you, not at you
• I promise to do things that will embarrass you as a teenager
• I promise not to have a problem with the man of your dreams loving you - but I don't think I will ever be able to give you entirely away because you have stolen my heart and you haven't even been born yet
• I promise to be there as you walk down the aisle
• And above all, I promise to love you forever and with all my heart

         Love, Daddy

Welcoming Somone New to the Family

My wife and I met our new neice this past weekend....

Here's the next 37,000 words of this post:

I'm An Uncle

My sister had the first grandchild in the family yesterday.

Laken Reese Gagliardi was born at 12:03 pm, weighing in at 6 pounds, 9 ounces; is 18 inches long, and has a full head of hair --- (pictures to come)

My brother-in-law, who is a pro-fisherman, asked if he could hold her before she was weighed. He guessed that she was 6 pounds, 10 ounces. He was one ounce off. LOL

I'm excited. We're all excited. My wife and I have two nephews and a neice on her side of the family. They're great kids and I love them to death. But I don't think that's quite the same as having a blood-related neice.

I have big plans for a lot of big-time spoiling. She already has a whole accessory line of Clemson tiger stuff from us -- rattles, bibs, clothes, bottles, a taggy, and some other stuff. There will be more to come.

More on the Water

Congratulations to Buckeye Timmy and his wife Patti. They've recently found out that they are expecting their second child.

I think there definitely is something in the water.

The Status of the Water

My sister found out for sure a few days ago that she's pregnant. So she and my brother-in-law are expecting a baby Clemson tiger in February.

I think there's something in the water.

At least five couples at mine and my wife's church are in various stages of pregnancy. I found out today a coworker of mine is pregnant.

My wife and I have been married 10 years. Through those 10 years we've had alot of ups and downs financially and careerwise. We've had probably more than our share of discussions on whether or not we're ready to have children. We both want children very much.

I've always been the one that's been more hesitant about having children than my wife, for this reason or that, or whatever. But we've pretty much agreed that now we're at a stage that we are finally comfortable at to have kids and hope to put some plans and actions in motion in the very near future.

We were at a local store this past Sunday and saw some really cute baby stuff (the theme of which I won't mention just in case my sister reads this blog -- and I can't believe I just publicly wrote down the phrase "cute baby stuff") that we bought for her baby. It was the first time I really got excited buying baby stuff. Of course we've got two nephews and a neiece all under age eight on my wife's side, and have plenty of friends that have had babies, so we've done our share of baby shower, baby gift, and young child gift shopping. I enjoy buying them gifts. I adore and love my newphews and neice dearly and enjoy watching them opening their gifts. But my wife could take spoiling them to an unprecedented level given an unending supply of funds.

This past Sunday when we were purchasing the gifts for my sister's baby, that was the first time I just wanted to really truly spoil someone to no end and they aren't even here yet. It must be a blood-relative thing. I wanted to buy up everything in sight within the theme we were buying. I know that's really weird and totally out of character for most guys to say. But I can't even imagine how much those feelings are going to increase when my wife and I have our own child.

We've had the names for a son and daughter picked out for a long time. They are both a mix of family names and original names (nothing off the wall and none of this last-name as a first name business that people are finding so popular these days for some bizarre reason) - James Bradley and Ashlyn Elizabeth. But the more I think about it, the more I know that when the day comes, I think I'm really going to enjoy being a dad.