So Long, Farewell....Well, Sort Of

When I started this blog several years ago, I made it a point not to keep it on one topic – and to post relatively frequently. To the first point – I think I was pretty good about that. To the second point – not so much, especially in the last two years.

I’ve decided that this will be my last post on Methodical Mayhem. I’m closing the doors on this blog and opening up another.

My daughter provides a constant source of amazement, pride and amusement – so I’m starting up another blog, specifically about being a dad, being a parent, and stuff specifically about my daughter. I think I’ll find more than enough material to write about.

And I promise my posts will be more frequent than they have been on here. I don’t think that will be a problem at all.

They might be short posts. I think for the time being most will, given my work schedule and opportunity to get on the computer.

But I want to thank anyone who has ever read anything here on Methodical Mayhem. I’ll keep the site up for a while until I figure out a way to archive the materials off of it and have the time to do that.

Anyway, thanks again…. And check out the new blog at somethingaboutashlyn.wordpress.com

The Day the Twinkie Died

Flash-forward to autumn of the year 2029.

My daughter has just started her freshman year at Clemson University. One evening her and some friends have decided to go to Oldies Night in the Hendrix Student Center's McKissick Movie Theater for showings of some classic 1980s movies.

Up first is "Ghostbusters", widely recognized as one of the best comedies of all time.

(You and I know this convesation by heart)
     Winston: "Tell him about the Twinkie..."
     Venkman: "What about the Twinkie...?" 
(In case you don't remember the details of the Twinkie, here's a refresher video...)

"Any of y'all know what a Twinkie is ?," asks one of Ashlyn's friends.

Ashlyn eating her first - and probably last ever - Twinkie

Ashlyn responds, "It was some sort of snack cake. My parents have a picture of me eating one when I was little...the day they stopped making them...the day the Twinkie died."

About That Day

Rewind to November 16, 2012. 

I learned about the Twinkie's demise .... the demise of Hostess, an 82-year old company and the manufacturer of some of our nation's most recognized bakery snacks...on Facebook. 

My wife knew about it earlier in the day and posted about it on Facebook. I hadn't scrolled down far enough to see her post when I saw a post from a friend of mine about Hostess' closure and instantly shared it out and commented. We (she and I) have always had a thing for one-upping each other as far as knowing things before the other, so she won out this time.

At first, I didn't really think everybody would go Twinkie crazy. Then it was like the Zombie Apocolypse hit and people started talking on Facebook about going to the store and stocking up on them. Then I started reading more and more posts about people running to the store to get some.

My wife began telling me when she got home from work to go buy some. Finally, after reading even more stuff online, I was like, "Okay. We need to go now. I may never be able to eat another Twinkie again if we don't."
 
Apparently today was the day that Ebay also went nuts. With people selling Twinkies. And any type of Hostess products or memorabilia they had or could get their hands on. 

Our final haul of Hostess stuff

We went to at least 10 convenience or grocery stores. Our only score was a bag of Hostess donuts at Publix and a handful of Hostess products at Dodge's General Store down the road from our house.

After getting home, a choice had to be made. Eat them or frame them? Eat them it was. That the best Twinkie I think I've ever had. It made reflect...

Emotions and Stuff

... I was sad that day. And mad. And nostalgic.

Twinkies have always been in my life. My dad is a fan of them. I'm a fan of them. Although in recent years, I've admittedly developed more of an affinity for Zingers. That's where the sad and nostalgic comes into the story.

The mad part, well that's my political side coming out.

Hostess has been around for 82 years, employing hundreds of thousands of people during that time. They are an icon of capitalism, the American dream, Americana, hard work and determination, and economic vitality - at least until recent years, and a lot of that had to do with unions.

When America's first unions began to establish themselves, there was a genuine reason for that. Working conditions in many industries were absolutely horrible. There hardly were any such things as safety protocols. Company owners and managers could get away with pretty much anything they wanted to at the expense of their workers. 

In their purest, truest sense, unions were a great solution to curb most of those behaviors and practices - while still allowing the business/organization to thrive. 

What we have seen in recent years though (for far too many reasons to name) are companies that have been forced to reorganize or relocate (in many of those cases causing mass layoffs) just in order to survive - or close, as is the case with Hostess. Their closure will result in the loss of an 18,500+ member workforce. 

Another major blow to our economy. When that many people go out of work, it has serious economic repercussions in more ways and in more lives than we can imagine. It affects our entire nation.

I know there's people who will go to the wall for their beliefs in the idea of unions. But I'm just not one of them. Fortunately, South Carolina is a right-to-work state which means you won't find many unions here. They are few and far between. 

Our economic developers will not in most cases even talk to companies who are interested in relocating or expanding to our state if that company has unionized workers. One of the first questions our EDs will ask a company when they express an interest in South Carolina is "Are your workers unionized / are you a union company?"  If the answer is yes, the we will ask "Do you have a transfer clause?"  If a transfer clause exists, that means the union charter allows it to transfer along with the company to another state or location. If the answer is yes, the state will immediately cease talks with them. If the answer is no, we'll invite them over to come check our great state out.

Unfortunately, with the leadership (or lack thereof) in our current administration in Washington DC, we're probably going to see more instances of companies like Hostess having to deal with this type of situation - especially with what's going on with Obamacare coming into full effect and our economy in the shape it is, but that's a discussion for another day and time.

Getting Back to the Story

So I'm sad that the memory of the Twinkie will more or less be lost on the generation of kids that will soon be going through our elementary schools - and for our future generations. They'll never know that original, great taste of a REAL Twinkie instead of that of BlueBird Twinkie knockoffs. (By the way, I'm not an economist by any means... but they are probably in for a huge increase in sales in 2013)

For all you health nuts out there, you can complain about the nutritional detriment of a Twinkie, or a Ho-Ho, or a Ding Dong, or a Snowball, or a Zinger all you want. Go ahead. It doesn't matter to me, and unfortunately it won't matter to Hostess anymore.

So long Twinkie the Kid. It's been great knowing you - we (at least I) wish you weren't riding off into the sunset.

Six Months (Almost)

Today was the first time my wife and I left our daughter with a babysitter. Granted, we actually babysat our babysitter, ourselves, when she was a baby - but she is more like family to us now. We even refer to her as one of our daughters when she is out with us somewhere.

Even still, its been almost six months since my wife and I have been anywhere together without our daughter Ashlyn. My wife handled it better than I thought she would. Admittedly, we were both a little nervous. But we were only going to be gone for a couple of hours. And we knew we could trust "our other daughter" Abby with her. They love each other and we knew she would take good care of her.

The six-month thing struck us though. It's hard to believe our little girl is nearly that old. She's changed so much. Now she's trying to skip crawling and go straight to walking; she has this fire in her that she wants to be able to do so much more than she can; she's eating baby food, teething, sitting up almost with no support, has more than doubled her birth-weight, and is, overall, just awesome. My wife and I have been blessed with a beautiful girl who we adore, loves 80s music and prunes, laughs at Elmo, and burps and passes gas like a champ. She is truly the light of our lives.

We've had some challenges in the past six months though that she has gotten us through.


My wife has some severe complications from her c-section and developed an infection which required several surgeries. She spent nearly two additional weeks in the hospital and then spent her maternity leave at home recovering for a month and a half unable to do most of the things she wanted to do with Ashlyn. Breastfeeding was out of the question because of all the meds. And she couldn't really pick Ashlyn up and play with her hardly at all for the first several weeks of her life. My wife had an incredibly hard time with that. I took almost all my vacation and sick time from work to stay at home and take care of my girls. A few days before I was going to go back to work, my boss called me in and told me they were eliminating and outsourcing my position to an agency that we had been using for some other services as well. Nice.

So I've been at home being Mr. Mom since the beginning of June - taking care of Ashlyn, job hunting, doing housework... I decided at the start I wasn't going to be bitter or angry about being out of a job because it would do me no good. Doesn't mean I can't be stressed though. Sometimes I feel kind of useless since I'm not working at a job - but then I get over it. My job right now is to find a job, take care of my daughter, and be the best husband and father I can.


Everyone says a baby will change your life. Truer words have never been spoken. I adore my nephews and nieces, love them, and would do anything for them - but being a dad takes those feelings to an extreme. I tell my daughter all the time "I love you from the moon to the stars and even further." She has brought so much joy into our lives. 

She's such a character.

There are so many nuances of her personality that are hilarious to watch. Sure, there are things that are challenging about her personality - she's impatient, stubborn, and sneaky. But she's a very happy baby, who loves to laugh and smile, meet new people, show off all her new skills,and is very attentive at church. She amazes us more and more every day.


Being parents have changed us and taught us a lot. Our first thoughts in the morning are not about hitting the snooze button anymore, but of going into her room and greeting her for the day. On most days, she's already up and waiting for us to come get her. She greets us with this electric smile that literally makes her body shake in excitement. 


She has taught me that despite whatever else is going on, family is number one. She's taught me to love more; not only toward her. She's taught me that some things I would have been bothered by in the past that other people do aren't really worth my time to be bothered by anymore. (Although being a parent brings a whole new set of things to the table that people do that bother me now, like disregarding the fact that there are children nearby by being loud, obnoxious, stupid, smoking in a public area, etc). She's taught me to treasure the blessings in my life even more. 

She's taught me so much already , just in six months - and I can't wait to teach her new things every day to come, as well.

I Resolve

2010 was one of those years. A lot really can’t be said for it.

Looking back at my blog posts for the year, you might wonder what was going on. Frankly, I am too. Not nearly as many posts as previous years. Kinda makes me wonder what I really accomplished last year.

I’m not really going to try to wonder why though.

I’m just going to start out the New Year fresh, with a positive outlook and happy for the life-changing miracle that God gave to my wife and I last year.

My daughter.

We’re currently in our final trimester, due April 7 – and totally ecstatic about our bundle of joy arriving healthy and ready to take on the world.

It’s definitely going to be life-changing. We’re both excited --- and scared and nervous too – but mostly excited about being parents. It’s something we’ve wanted for a long time.

We know we won’t be perfect parents. Nobody is. But we both already love this little girl more than words can say and are going to do our best to provide her everything she will ever need.

With that in mind, I’m going to start of the year with some resolutions.

I think technically you’re supposed to make New Year’s resolutions the first day of the new year, but I don’t think I’m really breaking any rules by making them a few days late.

So, here goes, in no particular order:

• I resolve to be the best daddy I can be – and be there for my little girl when she needs me and more
•  I resolve to be the best husband I can be – and be there for my wife when she needs me and more
• I resolve to lead a more healthy lifestyle – to eat better, to exercise, and to take care of myself better
• There is a big sub-resolution to this: I resolve to lose weight...
• I resolve to kick soft drinks
• I resolve to watch our money more tightly, not to eat out so much (but there will be special occasions when I will want to take my wife out), and not buy stuff that we don’t need. No more sudden impulse DVDs will be the big one.
• I resolve to spend more time with my wife – and focus on my family time more than time on anything else
• I resolve to stop bringing work home all the time and to not have that be the focus of all my spare time
• I resolve to stop getting on Facebook so much and to limit my time on it during my spare time
• I resolve to keep this blog updated more as time allows. I have a feeling a lot of posts will be made this year about my daughter.
• And I resolve to not stress so much over stupid things

We’ll see how I do.

I Promise

I promise to ....

"Promise" is a big word. It's like the word "love". You don't throw it around lightly. You should only say it when you mean it and when you know you can and will hold to it.

A promise to a child is something special. And I as anticipate the birth of my daughter, I think of what her life will be like. I think of what I will be like as a father.

I think about what our relationship will be like.

As with any father-daughter relationship, I know it will have its joys. And it will have its tears. We will have moments when we want to strangle each other - but I hope we will have moments when we absolutely want to hug each other, hear the other say "I love you," or just play with her Barbies. I hope those moments outnumber the others by far.

So as I think about those moments and look forward to meeting her, hearing her laugh, seeing her smile, and her mother and I raising her, I make these promises to my baby girl:

• I promise to nurture you
• I promise to make time for you
• I promise to hug you 
• I promise to show you Star Wars every chance I get
• I promise to God that I will raise you in a good Christian manner to follow his word
• I promise to let you be yourself
• I promise to tell you about your family who isn't here
• I promise to listen to you -- about your thoughts, opinions, dreams and any questions you may have
• I promise to tell you I love you every chance I get, and more
• I promise to give you space when you want it - but I won't be far away
• I promise to be skeptical of every guy that you ever like
• I promise to be your safe place 
• I promise to never make fun of you (although we can find a healthy medium for picking on each other)
• I promise to encourage you to follow your dreams
• I promise to make decisions that you may not like, but will be in your best interest
• I promise to protect you and your mommy
• I promise to never dress you in garnet
• I promise to spend daddy-daughter time with you
• I promise to never break your heart
• I promise that I will be the best daddy I can possibly be
• I promise to be there for you - to support you, to  teach you, and to laugh with you, not at you
• I promise to do things that will embarrass you as a teenager
• I promise not to have a problem with the man of your dreams loving you - but I don't think I will ever be able to give you entirely away because you have stolen my heart and you haven't even been born yet
• I promise to be there as you walk down the aisle
• And above all, I promise to love you forever and with all my heart

         Love, Daddy