It's Finally Fall!

This year, Fall arrived late around here, comparatively -- the weather and fall foliage.

I don't consider it Fall until people start to ask me why I'm not wearing a jacket.

Some of my co-workers started asking me that yesterday. I'm not big on wearing a jacket though -- or long sleeve shirts. It's weird to explain -- I just don't like the feeling of my arms being restricted.

Being originally from Pennsylvania, I have a totally different take on what is cold down here in South Carolina - not necssarily on what is hot though, because I think everyone can agree when it starts to get hot around here.

Fall to me is when the cool weather feels crisp... when it's an invigorating kind of cold. Highs between 50 and 60, I'm there. I can put up with colder temperatures -- yeah, when it drops below 40 it's rather cold, but still bearable. Once it gets below 30, the jacket is on.

Fall cold is exciting. It's that weather that when you experience it, you can't help but think about it being Football game cold. Some of my most favorite memories are hanging out watching football games, whether in high school or college, and not having to necesarily have a jacket on when the game starts but before it's over, you're like, "Yeah, I think I'll put it on." Something about that Football game cold just makes you want to scream louder for your team, and pull your girl closer.

Yet, you still want to hang around and watch the game because no cold can drive you away. Football games in 90+ degree heat suck. You just sweat.

Thankfully the cool weather has arrived. If it could stay this temperature year round, I'd be happy. But I like snow too, so bring it on!

Halloween - A Paranoid Safety Monger's Worst Nightmare

On Halloween night, our neighborhood suddenly became a treasure chest in the middle of everything.

The night would start off with our local fire department sounding their siren, probably around 6 or so. That was the signal we waited all year for. My sister and I would start out, mom in tow, with several other friends and their mothers, and hit the neighborhood. And for an elementary schooler, our neighborhood was HUGE! At the end of the night, it always felt like we had walked 100 miles. But the reward for the three or so hours of trick or treating was always worth it --- two or three plastic pumpkins full of loot. It was chocolate gold. And, man, was it an awesome feeling. Then around 9, the fire department would sound their siren again and that was the signal to go home.

Mind you, all this was done on the night that trick or treating is meant to be done --- Halloween night.

I just measured our old trick or treat route on Google maps. It looks like it was about 3.5 or so miles round-trip. If you figure 10 houses per 1,000 feet, that ends up being 277 houses. Figure half of those weren't handing out candy, so that still 138 houses. And 2-3 mini candy bars per house (or Reese's cups, the preferable treat of choice), that's between 275 and 400 pieces of candy. All this while wearing a plastic Darth Vader mask, strapped to my head with a rubber band, with a little slit in the mask to breathe through -- and a cool black plastic sheet painted to look like Darth's body adorning mine. Basically a cool trash bag. But it was cool, that's the thing.

Okay, fast forward 22 years.... The paranoid, safety mongers have taken Halloween and totally diluted it down to a parking lot bash.

WTF????

There are several things that I find totally screwed up/bizarre/stupid/and or wack about the state of Halloween these days.

1. The costumes --- Our nephews, 6 and 7 respectively, are wearing store bought, fabric, looks-like-mom-sewed-it-together-in-an-attempt-to-keep-her-kids-in-childhood-naivete-all-their-life skunk and kangaroo costumers....... WTF???? Costumes are supposed to be cool. You're not supposed to look like a farm animal. What happened to the plastic, slit-to-breathe-through masks? Okay, so someone said they were unsafe. Boo, hoo. It's unsafe leave the house in the morning, but people still do it.

2. Caravanning to neighborhoods --- We used to walk. (See above) People wonder why their kids are getting fat. It's not because of the candy -- it's dad and mom's job to eat most of it anyway. It's because they cart their kids around in the minivan with a horde of other kids to strategically targeted neighborhoods or houses, and they drive them from house to house. That takes the entire purpose out of going on foot, house to house.

3. Two or three nights before Halloween ---- Halloween is meant to be celebrated and conducted on Halloween. Don't vary it from community to community. That just confuses the parents and the kids. And the homeowners (you're not sure exactly which night everyone will be arriving) Do it on Halloween only. So what if it's a schoool night. They're kids. They're supposed to have FUN trick or treating -- and sometimes fun means staying up past bedtime on a school night.

4. Pillowcases --- One of the most greedy trends I have seen in recent years are kids carrying around pillowcases for their candy to be put in. Go get a little plastic pumpkin like your parents had before you. Get two or three of them. That way when they fill up quickly, you'll feel alot happier and prouder of your night's trick or treating efforts. It takes a lot longer to fill up a pillowcase -- and as long as it's not full, the kid using it is going to feel shortchanged.

5. Rudeness --- This relates to point four, but has several expansion subpoints to it. You don't just go up to the door and hold out your pumpkin/pillowcase, whatever the case may be, without saying trick or treat. It's rude. And the parents who allow their children to do that need to be smacked. Say 'Trick or Treat' and then after you get your treat, you say 'Thank you.' Those phrases are not difficult to say at all. I make it a point to let the kids know that they're being rude when they don't say thank you by saying, 'You're welcome....' if they don't. Hopefully that will set some little lightbulb off it their hand that they're being a greedy, ungrateful little brat. I just spent $30 on Halloween candy and they had better say thank you.

4. Trunk or treat --- This is new to me. The first time I heard about it was this year. Our church is holding one. When I heard of the idea, I was like, 'WTF???" It's just bizarre. You all gather in a parking lot. You fill your trunk up with candy. And the kids go from car to car, trick or treating.

Okay, like I said earlier, I get people are alot more safety conscious nowadays. The have a right to be. There are some scary, freaky people out there. But come on, let you kids have fun in the traditional way that Halloween was meant to be conducted. Just use common sense. Watch out for your kids. Go out with them. Don't go in a van. Use the old tried and true, one foot in front of the other, walking method. It will help teach your kids the value of hard work. And they'll have such a fun time going house-to-house, rather than subdivision to subdivision with mom - or dad - or both.

And don't let the paranoid, safety mongers take away the true spirit of Halloween!!

It's Not Clemzun!!

My wife and I have several issues with ESPN.

1. Their commentators seem to hate Clemson. No matter how good we're playing, they always have to nitpick the small negatives or talk smack about the players or the coaching. No matter who we're playing, they always have to talk up the other team or turn their negatives into positives. You rarely ever hear an ESPN commentator say anything positive about Clemson. They always have to rib us for this or that.

2. They won't shut up. Period. We just want to see the plays. We don't want their analysis about why THEY think Tommy Bowden is doing something. We don't want their dubmass comments like "That Clemson player looks like they're in pain." (If they're on the field holding their leg screaming, obviously they are) We don't want to hear them talk about some moron's opinion of shrimp and grits or where he's going to eat at the next football town he goes to. We just want to watch the game, hear the home announcer, and hear the referees' calls (whether we like them or not). I don't want to hear the EPSN commentators - period. So we often find that when we're watching the Clemson football game on TV, we've got the TV muted and we're listening to the game on the local radio.

3. CLEMSON IS NOT PRONOUNCED "CLEM-ZUN". Let't take a look at the structure of the word here, with a visual aid...

As you can see here, there is an understood "P" in the word Clemson. It is expected that the P be pronounced.

ESPN commentators are the worst offenders in the world about mispronouncing Clemson as Clemzun. It's like one of the nails on chalkboard type situations, where it just makes you cringe. Everytime I hear it, I want to throw my shoe at the TV.

A word to people who are unfamilair with Clemson -- If you do not pronounce the understood P, Clemson fans will think you are a moron. Everyone in South Carolina knows this. So for all you people out there who have never heard of Clemson, at least now you know to properly pronounce it. Okay, maybe it sounds a little redneck. Oh well. If you don't like it, you can kiss our collective orange butts.