Why do I do this?

Ever since probably ninth grade I've tried to test the limits of my ability to stay up late.

It started off basically because I just wanted to stay up late. I wanted to be able to tell my friends "Dude, I was up until 2 a.m. last night." Whoa, cool man, were you like watching the latest heavy metal videos on MTV? Yes, from time to time I was. Or I was still working on homework that I should have done hours before.

In college -- well, staying up late in something that you just do. You go out partying. You're hanging out until 3 in the morning just talking about the latest topic of choice. You're plastering newspaper all over a friend's pickup truck at 3 am with campus police sitting a nearby patrol car watching and laughing their asses off at the situation. You're working on some homework that you should have done hours ago. Or you're on a VAX dial-up account and have discovered the world of BBSing, of GOPHER, of Lynx, of YTALK, and all kinds of really cool text based things you could do on your computer -- and imagining all the possibilities if this technology really takes off. Sooner or later you look at the clock and you're like "Is it really 5 a.m.?" So you grab a few hours of sleep before your 8 o'clock class. When your alarm goes off at 10 til 8, you throw on some deoderant, gargle some mouthwash, grab the closest, cleanest clothes and a baseball cap, and run to class.

Now as an adult, I've turned the past few years into trying to keep up with my younger self. But I do it by bringing my job home. Not that I need to do this -- I just like to stay one step ahead. Okay, so I get distracted by the TV. And chores. And my wife asking me to turn off the computer. So when I get to a point where I can sit down and work on what I wanted to work on, it's 11:30 at night. I wrap up at anywhere from midnight to 1:30 -- depending on how tired I am.

A couple weeks ago, I was falling asleep around 10 o'clock every night for about two weeks. I guess my body was trying to tell me something.

The wife and I went out with a friend of ours to a local bar a couple months ago to hear a really good group called Tokyo Joe (an awesome group). They played basically until the place shut down. I felt like crap for an entire week afterward.

So here I am in the wee hours of the morning and I'm blogging because I feel bad that I haven't posted in several days. I should have gone to bed hours ago. Spent some time watching Deadliest Catch with the wife, burned some CDs, did about 1 hour worth of work, and here I am. I have to be at a meeting for work at 7 am. It will take about 50 minutes to get there. That means I need to be out of bed no later than 5:50 am. Why do I do this?