When Pressing Zero Doesn't Work

I typically don't enjoy confrontation. As a matter of fact, I try to avoid it.

But calling customer service numbers really gets me riled up sometimes. Generally the hold times are enough to anger me. I spend 10, 20, 30 minutes waiting to talk to someone - and when I finally get to talk to someone, in the middle of the conversation they ask if they can put me on hold for no good reason.

NO YOU CANNOT PUT ME ON HOLD - I JUST SPENT 30 MINUTES WAITING TO TALK TO YOU. YOU ARE A MORON. DO YOU THINK I WANT TO WAIT LONGER?

"Sure, fine, go ahead" -- and so I wait for them to come back on the phone. Drumming my fingers on the desk.

So for today's story, I just had a really fun experience that took me nearly an hour to resolve.

This started with a notice I received in the mail a few days ago saying I had not submitted a UPC along with a rebate form for a cell phone I recently purchased. Which I had. I cut it off the box and included it with the rebate application, stapled to it at that, just like the instruactions said, and mailed it off. Then I get this notice.

So I call the phone number listed on the notice. Go through the automated menu -- several dozen times. No obvious way to talk to a rep -- it's all "Press 1 for a FAQ on this", "Press 2 for a FAQ on that." I press "0" repeatedly. With a lot of systems, doing this will put you in touch with an agent. Not this time. It instantly hangs up. So I call the headquarters of the rebate company.

"We're sorry. The only number we can give you is the one you already have," they say.

"A lot of good you are," I say, as I hang up. Then I call my cell phone provider. They give me the same blasted number. So I call it back. Go through every submenu, selecting every option. Finally I get an option to talk to a real person. By this time my blood is boiling and I'm about to go off on someone.

Luckily, this person was pretty understanding. They told me that there IS a record that I submitted a UPC. She didn't know why I was sent the notice that started this whole debacle in the first place, and she authorizes my rebate check. Problem solved.

Sort of.

In my eyes, the problem won't ever be totally solved until they either eliminate automated menus and your call goes directly to a customer service agent -- or they tell you up front on the main menu of their automated system that you can press "0" or whatever to talk to a real person.

What they have in place I wouldn't call customer service at all. Technology and computers are great and all, but sometimes I just wish we could have prevented automated menus from ever being invented. I generally get better customer service from the person behind the speaker at the McDonald's drive thru when they ask me if I want fries with my order.