I was involved in a minor fender bender a few weeks ago in Spartanburg, aka Sparkle City. I was at a stop light -- the light turned green, traffic started to move, I started to move. Then the guy in front of me slams on his brakes and I in turn slam on mine. Unfortunately, I hit his car -- I was going maybe 5 mph (at the most) at the time. Did very little damage to the other guy's Kia SUV but he insisted on calling the cops, telling me "Man, I gotta call the cops. You hit my car. I want my car fixed." I seriously think he's one of these guys who just likes to screw with people and their finances on purpose.
I was ticketed for following too closely. The Sparkle City police officer that responded wrote me a ticket for 4 points and $144. Neither the cop nor the dumbass that I hit showed up for court. This was the extent of my conversation with the judge:
Judge: Do you see the Mr. Dumbass here today in the courtroom?
Me: No sir, I do not see Mr. Dumbass.
Judge: Well, since the other party involved in the incident is not present, I am going to throw out this case.
--LONG PAUSE AS HE SCRIBBLES SOMETHING DOWN--
Judge: You can go now. Drive safely and have a nice day.
Me: Thank you sir.
I had spent the last three weeks dreading having more points on my license (I already have two from a speeding ticket earlier this year) and having another increase on my insurance. So I was one very happy camper as I walked out of the courtoom and turned on my evil grin as I walked toward the parking lot.
No fine, no points -- not a problem for me at all. LOL
Mine was the second case of the morning. In the case before mine, the girl who had been ticketed had her case dropped also because the other person wasn't there. We were lucky.
I wonder if the girl that was sitting beside me in the courtroom who looked like she had just done twelve lines of coke had a good day or bad day in traffic court. There was an old guy in the court room who reeked of cheap, stale beer. I wonder how his morning went. As I was waiting on traffic court to start, there was a girl who looked no older than 14 or 15 who walked in, pregnant to the nines, holding hands with a man of another race who appeared to be two or three times her age, walking in with a traffic ticket in her hands.
I'm a big people watcher. I have a very inquisitive nature about me and just like to watch how people act in various situations.
Traffic court is one of those places where you really get to see a diverse cross section of your community. You may see an attractive lady in a business suit looking at her watch every 30 seconds, or a disheveled teenager who looks like they were forced out of bed, being led into the room by what appears to be a very angry parent.
I kind of felt out of place because out of 40 or 50 people, I was the only one who had on a tie, other than the judge, and one of four or five people that looked like they had to cut out of their first couple hours of work to come plead their case. I can say that everyone pretty much had the same look of disgust that they had to be there at all. I liken traffic court to the lobby of the DMV. They're both like a box of chocolates - you never not what you're going to get.
But the highlight of the morning (other than, of course, having my ticket being dropped) was when the judge walked out. When I saw him, I almost had to stop myself from saying out loud "Wow, he really takes this naughty or nice thing really too seriously" or "Man, I bet the elves are having a party now with the big guy out of town." He looked like Santa. In fact, I'll bet he's been asked a time or two to play Santa. I'll bet he probably wouldn't have found it funny though if when I approached the bench I had said, "Mr. Claus, I've been a really good boy this year. So what I'd really like for Christmas (other than a totally tricked out Sony VAIO computer) is to have this ticket disappear."
I guess I got my Christmas wish early. Maybe Santa was reading my mind. So I got in my car, headed to work and heard the Kenny Chesney song "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem" on the radio. I then came up with the name of my next blog.
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